November 13, 2008
Bush in Race against Time to Wreck Country
Legacy of Destruction at Stake

Confounding the conventional wisdom that he is a lame duck president
with no agenda as his days in office dwindle, President George W. Bush
is redoubling his efforts to mutilate the country before his term
expires, aides confirmed today.

"President Bush has spent the first seven years and ten months of his
presidency doing everything in his power to leave the United States in
smoldering ruins," said White House spokesperson Dana Perino. "He
certainly is not going to let the final days of his tenure go to waste."

While Ms. Perino said that President Bush is proud to have led the U.S.
into a "pointless and totally avoidable catastrophe in Iraq" and "the
most terrifying financial cataclysm since the Great Depression," he is
"in no way prepared to rest on his laurels."

Mr. Bush is "delighted," Ms. Perino said, that the stock market has lost
one trillion dollars of its value in the last three days, but "that's
just the tip of the iceberg in terms of the damage he hopes to wreak in
his remaining time in office."

Among the targets for destruction that the President is currently
eyeing, Ms. Perino indicated that the demise of the Big Three automakers
was at the top of his list.

"If the President could preside over the disappearance of the Big Three
and the millions of jobs they represent, that would be the ultimate
feather in his cap," she said.

For his part, Mr. Bush took few questions from reporters today, saying
that he had to return to the Oval Office to order random airstrikes over
Belgium.


From andyborowitz.com