Palin Blames Daughter's Pregnancy on Media
Demands That Media Marry Bristol

Coming out on the offensive after a day of controversy, presumptive GOP
vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin said today that the media was to
blame for making her daughter Bristol pregnant.

"My husband and I are well aware that Bristol is pregnant, and we know
who made her that way -- the media," she told reporters in Pittsburgh.

It has become common in presidential campaigns for candidates to lash
out against the news media, but Gov. Palin's attack was the first known
example of a politician blaming the media for her daughter's pregnancy.

Gov. Palin went on to say that since the media had made her daughter
pregnant, it was now up to the media to "do the right thing and marry her."

Moments after the governor's statement, the National Enquirer said that
it would marry Bristol Palin in exchange for exclusive rights to the
wedding photos and the first pictures of the baby.

The Enquirer's proposal was just one of several positive developments
for Gov. Palin, who today picked up the endorsement of Unplanned Parenthood.

Elsewhere, the Republican Party officially changed its slogan to
"Condoms First."


From Andy Borowitz

www.andyborowitz.com