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Vic Smith Vic Smith is offline
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First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Oct 2006
Posts: 4,310
Default Navy Officer Encounters Part II (When it pays to play Marine)

Since the Navy has some boats, and since there are vets here, I'll
relate this encounter.
If I'm out of line, let me know.

I was on my way to a day of liberty, walking down one of the D&S
piers, Norfolk.
McKinnon, a buddy who was stuck aboard, called down to me from the
ship. We BS'ed a little while as I kept walking, and soon I was
walking backwards as he had followed me to the bow..
Just as we finished talking and I was turning around my legs struck a
slowly moving big car and I almost fell on the fender.
I caught my balance by smacking a hand hard on the very shiny hood,
and continued walking, but bent down so I could sneer at the driver.
What the hell is he doing with a car on the pier? Idiot.
Didn't want to make a big issue of it, just give him a sneer.
An Elvis type sneer, nothing too heavy.
Since the car was moving slowly by as I was walking, quickly I
found myself sneering at the old guy in the back seat, who was looking
at me.
He had on a hat adorned with a whole mess of scrambled eggs.
About the same time it sunk in that the car had flags on the fenders
flying 4 or 5 stars.
So I had just loudly smacked my hand on the hood of the 2nd Fleet
Admiral's car, and then sneered at him. WTF? How did that happen?
I stood from bent posture and kept walking, hoping for the best, like
maybe God would make me invisible.
Got about 40 feet and heard a car door opening and a voice shout
"Sailor!"
I turned around and the Admiral was storming down the pier at me, all
that gold flashing in the sun.
I quickly decided to act like a Marine, and came to ramrod attention,
hand in perfect salute. I wanted my liberty.
"SIR!! I shouted.
The Admiral got right in my face and he was ****ed. Shaking ****ed.
I guess my hood slap and sneer had been pretty good.
"Didn't you see my car, sailor!?" he shouted.
"NO SIRI!" SORRY SIR!! I shouted back, but much louder than him.
Found out later they heard me way back on the quarterdeck.
"You can't be walking around running into cars sailor!" he said, not
quite shouting now, but still ****ed.
He was checking out my uniform and posture, which were perfect.
I was good at all that. Would have made a good Marine too, except I
was smart and I liked to shag women, disqualifying me.
"YES SIR!! "I'LL BE MORE CAREFUL SIR!! I shouted.
He cooled down some, but got even more flustered, and stammered, since
he was getting nothing but good Marine stuff from me, and had to close
it out.
"You just...just.. carry on, and be, be..... be a good sailor now!"
were his last words.
"YES SIR!!" I shouted.
He turned around and stormed back to his car and I carried on to my
liberty.
Never heard a word about it either, so that Marine trick works with
officers, even Fleet Admirals.
First time all those John Wayne movies I saw came in useful.

NEXT:
"How I tripped the Captain of U.S.S. Harry E. Yarnell as he was piped
aboard U.S.S. John King" or "Ain't My Fault He's Got Big Feet"

--Vic