I've spent the summer off a beach in S Portland, Maine.. moored. This is my
second summer
at this location .. And this is my last. I just can't take Maine any
longer. The fog, rain, cold,
.... it just never has a real summer. I stay onboard often. Get up early,
turn on the radio,
check the weather. Boston: sunny, hot, maybe a thunderstorm. Portland:
fog, cold, rain,
a hurricane, tornado,... and this happens all the time. The weather north
.. [east] of Cape
Elizabeth is awful. Those photos that are in the big books at Barnes and
Noble? Taken on
August 18 every summer, the one summer day of the year. It really starts to
wear on you when
every week the weather is worse than the week before. The water is so cold
that the seals have
polar tech jackets. The eagles wait until the dead fish wash up. Why? So
they don't get their claws
cold. So, after two months of muck, cold, fog, rain, no summer .. guess
what we had this week?
Yup.. Winter. It arrived on Aug 19th, right on schedule. The temperature
was in the 40*'s.. F.
Remember, it is August. And I am inside a sailboat with a polar tech jacket
on. I swear that there
was ice on my ports, but I was too cold to open the companionway boards. I
know I know.. Maine
has the harbors, the little anchorages, the scenic sounds, .. and it also
has the fog, so you never see the
scenic sounds.. but you do get to smack into the underwater ledges that are
hidden by the fog. The tides
go up and down 9 feet.. Yesterday's safe passage? Today's insurance claim.
The water.. oh, that
water. Ever wonder why you never read about sharks in Maine? Because a
shark isn't stupid.
If you were a great white, would you swim to a place that has two seasons;
winter and pre winter?
My boat was launched in the middle of June, it took me a week to go up the
coast of Maine from NH.
The week started off with thunder and lightning, then followed the fog, and
cold east wind, which was
accompanied by rain and cold and rain and cold. This is June. July? Ha..
that month is not on any of the
calendars in Maine. Check it out, go into a coffee spot in Maine, middle of
July. Look on the wall.. No
July.. does not exist. Just a note, "turn page, go to LL Bean, get warm
clothes, pile wood up "
August arrives, a jogging path off the beach, and what do I see? Yes,, the
ski team is practicing. They
have their poles, and are simulating cross country skiing. In August! The
beaches are empty, the sailing
season ends, the big boats start heading for Cape Cod, Conneticutt, Rhode
Island .. the tropics, paradise,
south,, [w], away from Maine. What do they talk about as they make their
way? The fog, the cold weather,
the rain, and the big joke,, the running joke, ... when asked "how did you
enjoy your trip to xxx harbor Maine"?
The answer; "I don't know, I never saw the place, all I saw was fog".
"Will you be cruising the Maine waters
next summer"? "Summer"? "Is that summer"? hahahhaha.... ..

If you are thinking of a Maine cruise, or summer, before setting off... read
the following ...
---
Jeff Foxworthy on Maine: ~ from Peter Knowles

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36
inches
of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
you
might live in Maine.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights
each year
because Moosehead Lake is the coldest spot in the nation,you might
live in
Maine.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you
might
live in Maine


If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the
year, you
might live in Maine.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work
there, you
might live in Maine.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Maine.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live
in
Maine.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live
in
Maine.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a
wrong number, you might live in Maine.


YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE MAINER WHEN:

1. "Vacation" means going South past Augusta for the weekend.

2. You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back
again.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard,
without flinching.

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
weddings).

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend / wife
knows how
to use them.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with
snow.

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road
construction.

12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
your
blue spruce.

14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

15. Down South to you means Augusta.

16. A brat is something you eat.

17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.

18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.

19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

22. You actually understand these jokes, and you tell them to all your
Maine friends.



The new motto.. "Next Year in Portsmouth" !!