Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding
50 billion ****ing chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with
a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it
removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000
to you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll
get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!

What a bunch of bull****.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
sodomise me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was
started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim
stowaways on the Endeavour.

**** 'em!!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly amusing.

I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a
nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times.

I don't ****ing care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out these forwards.

Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being?

If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you
shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on.

Don't **** people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant
for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll
receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning
your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

Billy Connolly

PS Send me 15 bucks and then **** off.