Adventures with TSA in Abu Dhabi
I cannot match the nipple ring story although I have no sympathy for
the dumb bitch who was searched due to them. She either knew better
or was simply stupid.
I recently took a trip to Abu Dhabi to install an X-ray spectrometer
and I carried a lot of weird tools. Some of the oddest tools were in
my carry on because I fI lost them they could not be replaced and the
trip would be wasted. OF course the whole trip got screwed up due to
weather in NYC so it got broken up into many shorter one-way
segments. There is nothing security people like more than a guy
travelling alone one-way to/from a ME country carrying bizarre
unidentifiable vaguely electronic thingies. It was always "Sir, you
have been selected for additional screening", Me: "I knew that whici
s why I am already standing in the special area" Arab guy in uniform
with auto weapon searching my bag: "What this?" (holding up a 1"
diameter thing with wires coming out and a 9 V battery and a lens on
front) Me: "A laser, sorta an alignment device for an x-ray
instrument". Arab guy: "Cannot carry X-rays through here". Me:
"NO, no, no, I do not have any x-rays". Arab guy obviously thinking
"Damned Kafir liar" says "You wait here, not move at all". Meanwhile
the other inspector is looking through some guys packages of rotting
fish (I kid you not) but lets him go through!
Eventually, his boss gets there and I have to give a lecture on x-ray
spectroscopy to a couple guys who prob only got as far as "Islamic
Studies" and of course they do not believe me. Finally, I produce the
card of the Abu Dhabi police directorate (where i am installing it)
and suddenly things started to happen (these guys LOVE authority
figures). They carefully stuff my tools back in my bag as if
radiation is gonna jump out and get them and we wait till a guy with a
uniform and lots of decorations gets there along with a arab guy in
seriously white robes and headpiece. They look at my passport and
suddenly all is ok.
Coming back to the states was much better with the TSA guy in NYC
having a lot of sympathy and THANKING me for being so cooperative.
They put me through the "sniffer machine", wiped all my stuff with the
explosive detector wipes, took apart everything I had, rifled through
all my cheapo sci fi books to see if anything was in them, patted me
down, questioned me about why I was going one-way and what I was
doing. This sounds invasive but I APPROVE of it and yes, it does make
me feel safer. So, the bimbo with the nipple rings gets no sympathy
from me at all.
|