On Mar 3, 10:04*am, HK wrote:
wrote:
What is it you don't like about Atlanta?

Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out
of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach
Greenville, South Carolina.

Most directions to anywhere start with, "Go down Peachtree. . ." and
include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House. . . ."

The exception is Cobb County where all directions begin with, "Go to the
Big Chicken, and..."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused
with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road,
Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave.,
Peachtree Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree,
Old Peachtree, or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask
anyone for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.

Atlantans do not believe in turn signals. You will never see a native
signal at a stoplight, to change lanes, or to merge. Never!

Atlanta is home of Coca-Cola. That's all they drink there, so don't ask
for any other soft drink . . . unless it's made by Coca Cola. And even
then, it's still "Coke."

There is nothing going on at night in downtown Atlanta, unless you are a
drug dealer. And outside of Atlanta, in the rural areas, there are still
recruitment posters for the Klan. The 21st Century Klan.

Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport is 32 miles away
from the Main Concourse so wear sneakers and pack a lunch. The doors on
the trains in the airport do not reopen like an elevator if you stick
your hand out. And, they hurt.

In the city proper, it's impossible to go around a block and wind up on
the street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic
drive" and has posted signs to that effect so that out-of-towners don't
feel lost .. . . they're just on a "scenic drive."

The 8 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM.

The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:30 to 7:30 PM.

Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2:00 AM
Saturday.

Reversible lanes are not understood by anybody. Stay out of them unless
you are looking for a head-on collision.

"Sugar" is a more common form of address than "Miss." So is "Sweetpea."
"Honey" is always used by Waffle House waitresses.

Ponce de Leon Avenue can only be pronounced by a native, so do not
attempt the Spanish or French pronunciation. People will simply tilt
their heads to the right and stare at you. (The Atlanta pronunciation is
"pahnss duh LEE-on.")

The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget
all traffic rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye
shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over.

If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and
it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month.
All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water,
toilet paper, and beer if there is a remote chance of snow, and if it
does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the
blizzard" T-shirts.

It is always Smog Alert Day.

Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life, and a permanent form
of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's
version of Old Faithful erupts.

Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close
down all lanes except one during rush hour.

Atlantans are very proud of the racetrack, known as Road Atlanta. It
winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence its name. Actually,
I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of
55 mph is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500" because you have to
maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over.

Georgia 400 is the local equivalent of the Autobahn. You will rarely see
a semi-truck on GA 400, because even the truck drivers are intimidated
by the oversized SUV-wielding housewives racing home after a grueling
day at the salon or the tennis match to meet their children at the
school bus provided by the college prep preschool.

The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy which starts at
120. Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads,
vehicles, houses, etc., are yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you
have any allergies you will die.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless
your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a
full clip.

Hey, but other than that, it's a great place to live!

(Not original with me...and mild, to boot. Atlanta sucks.)

Harry finds a tongue in cheek piece meant strictly for comedy and eats
it up like it's candy!!! How dumb can you get? Here is a list of
cities ranked from first to last. You can see Atlanta is eighth. DC
and surrounding area? 27.....
Cleveland didn't get into the top 50...........
Forbes has us at #5 for large cities
Kiplinger has us at #4
And the list goes on.

Cities Ranked and Rated": The Top 50

Charlottesville, VA
Santa Fe, NM
San Luis Obispo-Atascadero-Paso Robles, CA
Santa Barbara-Santa Maria-Lompoc, CA
Honolulu, HI
Ann Arbor, MI
Atlanta, GA
Asheville, NC
Reno, NV
Corvallis, OR
Roanoke, VA
Portland-Vancouver, OR-WA
Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill, NC
Bryan-College Station, TX
Lynchburg, VA
Olympia, WA
Norfolk-Virginia Beach-Newport News, VA-NC
Colorado Springs, CO
Nassau-Suffolk, NY
Pueblo, CO
Eugene-Springfield, OR
Austin-San Marcos, TX
Lafayette, IN
Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN-WI
Dover, DE
Washington, DC-MD-VA-WV
Fayetteville-Springdale-Rogers, AR
Pittsburgh, PA
Bloomington, IN
Stamford-Norwalk, CT
State College, PA
Abilene, TX
Champaign-Urbana, IL
Athens, GA
Wichita, KS
Fort Worth-Arlington, TX
Madison, WI
Bellingham, WA
Las Cruces, NM
New York, NY
Dayton-Springfield, OH
Bloomington-Normal, IL
Sarasota-Bradenton, FL
Bremerton, WA
Albuquerque, NM
Harrisburg-Lebanon-Carlisle, PA
Evansville-Henderson, IN-KY
Tampa-St. Petersburg-Clearwater, FL
Punta Gorda, FL
Columbia, SC