Short Wave Sportfishing wrote:
On Tue, 05 Feb 2008 06:18:53 -0500, "Reginald P. Smithers III"
"Reggie is Here wrote:

Short Wave Sportfishing wrote:
On Mon, 4 Feb 2008 19:00:19 -0800 (PST), Tim
wrote:

On Feb 4, 6:51 pm, Valguard Toebreakerson wrote:
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080204/D8UJQ1U00.html

It happens right before Super Tuesday.

Wow - what a coincidence.
"Gosh, golly, gee whiz..."

I thought you were OD'ing on Leave It To Beaver reruns again....
Valguard Toebreakerson, first born of Valguard the Toebreaker, is
somewhat limited in his use of the English Language - in particular
the use of expletives.

He is a true berserker - a Norse warrior who fights with true rage
reveling in the blodd, gore and carnage of battle. He is noted for
being very polite even as he disembowels you. Valguard Toebreakerson
is noted for his battle cry "Darn it all - Now I have to seriously
hurt you".
He does sound like someone dropped him on his head when he was a baby.

His biography notes that he was raised by The Sisters of The Holy
Chainsaw from infancy after being abandoned by his family for having
black hair and brown eyes. (His biography also notes that his mother
was a notorious courtesan who occasionally spent time with a Nigerian
Bank Manager of certain acquaintance which could possibly explain why
he didn't look a thing like Valguard the Toebreaker who was blond and
blue eyed.)

Being raised in a convent led to some unfortunate early gender role
identity problems. This changed during the Great Theological Schism
when The Sisters of The Holy Chainsaw and their male counterpart The
Brothers of The Holy Chainsaw encountered a new movement - The High
Holy Chainsaw and Safety Razor. This new movement adopted several
rituals and measures that were anathema to the older, more established
Order leading to charges of heresy and apostasy leading to war between
the two groups.

In the aftermath of the Great Theological Schism, everybody forgot
about Valguard Toebreakerson who developed a great appreciation for
violence, but due to his disciplined upbringing in the Convent, he
controlled his berserker impulses by putting all his energy into
forming a new, stronger faith - The Sisters and Brothers of Bashing
One Enemies Vigorously About The Head And Shoulders With A Blunt
Object Until They Submit To Your Will.

The rest, as they say, is history.

He does sound like a very complex guy.