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katy katy is offline
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First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,109
Default Doug's World, Excellent!

Capt. Rob wrote:
it's difficult
to explain to family & friends who aren't sailors or cruisers.



That's because your family probably knows that you prefer to sail,
wanted a sailboat and that you were actively looking at cruising
sailboats, even showing Kathie a C&C at one point. Now you're driving
around in a floating RV and believing, or trying to believe that it's
what you wanted?
Who else in the sailing group has switched to power boating,
Doug...besides you?


RB
35s5
NY

Not going to discuss Doug's personal situation because what he does is
his business but do want to address the ttopic in general.

Just what is the matter with doing something your spouse wants to do or
feels more comfortable doing? Not everyone is the same. You are
fortunate, Bob, that Suzanne likes to sail. I've known many people over
the eyars with sailboats where the wife goes along for the ride or sits
on teh dock and waits for the "floating cottage" to return, irked that
their home away from home actually left the dock. The idea that someone
would be condiserate of someone else's feelings and maybe supplant their
own interests for awhile is commendable. It shows a strong relationship
and a willingness to go the extra mile for their partner. So waht are
you going to do, if perchance, Suzanne decides one day that sailing just
isn't it anymore and that the boys, now teenagers, would really rather
have a jet boat? She will impress on you taht they've ahd it with
sailing and that as a father, your responsibility is to the family, not
to sailing. So, becasue you do not want to lose that precious link that
holds the family together, good times, you either downgrade the sailboat
so that you can have a little sojourn once in a great while and buy a
jet boat for the family, or you give up sailing entirely to immerse
yourself into the family ecperience. What's going to happen when your
boys, down the line, find out that fast and noise is more fun and that
dinking along on something that only goes 7 knots at best is rather a
dull way to spend the afternoon? Now don;t tell me you're going to
insure that that doesn't happen by totally immersing your kids in the
sailing experience. That has been knwon to backfire...I;'ve seen plenty
of sailing families whose kids have had it...they want a life on teh
weekends other than going to the marina and hanging about on a
boat...they want their friends, parties, shopping, etc. So then you have
a choice: you let them go off by themselves and suffer the consequences;
or you make them go with you and sit with a boatful of resentful kids
who whine and pule about having to be there...or...maybe you'll get
lucky...once in a while a person does and the kids take to it like ducks
out of water...most likely not, though,, it will be some combination of
the first two scenarios. Enjoy what you have now. Sail like you want
now. You can't predict the future and you shouldn't try reading into the
lives of othersthings that may not be there at all.