wrote

(some common sense)

Finally, some sanity. Thanks, Todd.

I think a trace back through this thread by the uninvolved would show the
common newsgroup dynamic of always jumping to demonstrate the other person
wrong than actual analysis of vessel management issues. Put these things in
other contexts and there wouldn't be much debate.

Say you do accept help from one of the dockside BFF's. You say, "Please put
that spring on the middle cleat." He says, "No, I think you need your
bowline first.", and hauls it in tight mucking up your landing. Helping
means offering to assist and cooperate; not take over. The instruction in
this case (given three times politely) was basically to just stand and
watch. OK, you other guys, tell me where the fine line is.

You offer to help an old lady at the supermarket carry her packages. Maybe
she says, "Yes", gratefully. Maybe she says ,"No thank you dear, I'm quite
capable." You say you insist. Maybe now she relents and is grateful for
the help after having had a chance to assert her independence. Or, after
the third refusal, you reach over and grab her packages. On land, this is
now assault. You could be arrested. On the dock, the "old lady" is not
wrong for expressing surprise that the would be helper is now screaming at
her that she is a bitch? Now make the old lady an attractive girl who
clearly doesn't need the help (boat heading in slowly in calm conditions
with two big strong boys standing at the rail each with a dockline in their
hands) and it gets even weirder. The insistence and yelling, "bitch" part I
mean; not the offering to help.

When a docking does require, or would be easier with, more hands, you can
brief and prepare your crew. It isn't very practical to do that with people
on shore as you are making your landing. You don't know if they have a clue
or how they will react. Ask Rosalie.

Yeah, this has taken much too much time for such a minor event but, as a
writer and observer of human nature, I find these newsgroup exchanges a
fascinating laboratory for attitudes as well as an occasional source of
useful information.

--
Roger Long