Aha!

I was clearly and poignantly reminded just what this pastime is all
about.

Wife leaves for the office this morning and says, "By the way, I think
we're almost out of TP on the boat. Pick some up as you're running
around today, OK?"

"Sure, no problem."

My schedule took me past a local grocery. "I'll just buzz in and pick
up a few rolls of cheapie single ply. You won't catch me paying $3 a
roll for TP simply because somebody labeled it "marine."

That store, and the next I checked, didn't have any single ply in
stock.
All of the TP manufactuers are marketing pillowy multi-ply TP that
will pamper the butt, but won't disintegrate quickly enough to be
practical for marine use.

"OK, so I'll just go over to the big box marine store and hope nobody
sees me suckering for the marine TP."

Of course, once through the door, there were a few other things I
absolutely had to have. Four new 5/8 mooring lines, 15' each, to re-
rig our covered slip.
Ka-ching. Oh, and the bilge sock looked like it was ready to change-
Ka-ching. Better not forget the toilet paper, three four packs of
single ply should easily last through our long summer cruise and into
the fall. Ka-ching.

Up to the head of the slaughter chute I wander, wondering what my
little shopping expedition was going to cost. "With tax, that comes to
$151, sir."

Yowzers.

On the way out the door, a buck and a half lighter, I noticed a very
non-pc paper sign hanging from the TP display. It read "Doesn't she
deserve 2-ply?"
and was in a position calculated to call attention to the more
expensive, 2-ply marine TP.

Heck, if I thought she "deserved" 2-ply, I would have bought the TP at
the grocer's and saved most of the hundred and fifty bucks. :-)

*****************

A few years after we bought our boat, I happened across her former
owner.
He was out of boating entirely. I asked, "Do you miss it?"

"Sometimes," he admitted. "But when I really need a boating fix I just
pull into the parking lot at the nearest marine supply store, open the
front door of the place, and toss in two or three hundred-dollar
bills. That's pretty close to the boat ownership experience, as far as
I'm concerned."