This is an all too common story. I'm afraid that I must tell you that what
is going on here has absolutely NOTHING to do with boats or seamanship. You
and your daughters could become prime candidates for America's Cup crew
positions and things would not improve much. Don't distract yourself from
the real issues here by trying to become sailors that meet your husband's
standards.

This is a 26 foot boat. Your husband should be able to get it in and out of
the slip and do everything required to take it anywhere it has any business
going with no one else on board. I do it all the time on my 32 footer and
others do it with larger boats. Generally, when "captains" are yelling, it
is because they don't feel in control. I'm quite sure your husband doesn't
feel nearly as competent as you describe him. Even if he does, then the
boat has become a venue where he feels it is legitimate for him to berate
and belittle you and your daughters. The fact that he is taking such great
advantage of that illusion is something that smoother line handling is not
going to fix.

Boats tend to become stages that magnify and bring to the surface the
underlying dynamics. Believe me, I know that from recent experience. You
need to get a handle, as a family, why he would treat you and your daughters
like this in any situation. This is NOT happening because you are a little
inexperienced and clutzy at handling docklines.

To the very minimal extent that seamanship has anything to do with this, you
are also focusing on the wrong end of the problem. Your husband should go
out and sail alone, a lot, until he is so smooth and comfortable handling
the boat without help that he can integrate teaching you into the process.

A week long intensive course should make you and your daughters sufficiently
competent to cruise in this boat if you exercise good judgement and respect
the limitations of your experience. You would, at least, be more competent
than 85% of the other people out there in 26 foot sailboats.

By all means, go out and learn everything you can and become a completely
competent sailor. Have your daughters do it with you. Just keep it in your
mind that you are doing it for yourselves as one of the most worthwhile and
bonding things you could do with the girls and that it has NOTHING to do
with changing your husband's behavior. Then go out and go sailing without
him.

--
Roger Long