wrote in message
ups.com...
I've been reading this newsgroup for the past year while rehabbing a
24', swing-keel sailboat, and the information that I've gleaned has
been invaluable. I'm hoping now that you can provide me with some
direction in obtaining the instruction I'll require to sail this boat.
Here is my scenario:

My husband is a life-long boater, with extensive experience in both
sailing and powerboating. My experience as a boater is primarily that
of a powerboat passenger -- in other words, minimal. We rehabbed a
boat to sail as a family, a boat into which I have personally put a
couple hundred hours worth of work. I asked my husband if my daughters
(pre-teen) and I should take sailing lessons, and he replied that he
could teach us everything that we needed to know. Well, my husband's
idea of sailing instruction was barking orders at his wife and kids,
and then yelling at us when we didn't do it fast enough or confidently
enough. After a handful of fsailing excursions ending with our
daughters huddling in tears in the cabin, he told us that he would
never sail with us again and that we'd ruined sailing for him. I think
the primary issue for me and my daughters is comfort level on the
boat. The experiences are new to us, and it's difficult to, for
example, to be immediately comfortable hoisting the mainsail in
moderate - heavy chop (we do it, just not with great speed).

This is not atypical in family dynamics. I teach sailing (SF area) and I
would never attempt to teach someone in my immediate family or even in my
immediate circle of friends. Even though I don't yell (a bad idea unless
you're trying to be heard), there's too much interpersonal history to
overcome. Sailing, especially learning to sail, should be fun and
low-stress. This is nearly impossible when being taught by a spouse or close
friend. I don't want to be in the business of putting down your husband, but
he certainly has no business doing what you say he did. If he's as
experienced as you claim, then he should know better.

The boat was something that we were looking forward to as a family. I
won't teach my kids that it's ok to quit at this just because their
father has determined that we're "incompetent" on the boat. I'm
determined to prove him wrong. The problem is that he won't help us.
Here's where I need some direction. There are a lot of boating classes
out there, and the pros and cons of each are difficult to sort
through. The sailing classes that I've located in our immediate area
use tiny little one person sailboats for instruction. This seems
inappropriate for us, since we've all read up on and experienced,
albeit to a small extent, the basic principles and logistics sailing
our particular boat. The biggest challenge we face at the moment is
getting the boat in and our of our slip at the marina... without that
ability, we're stuck in our lawn chairs hanging out at the dock. It
seems as though my immediate needs include boat handling, safety,
rules of the water and such.

Books aren't going to do it. You need to take sailing lessons from someone,
typically in a school setting. I'm not familiar with your area, but if
possible, find a school that specializes in teaching women *by* women. If
that's not possible, then make sure the instructor doesn't do what your
husband did. There should be no yelling. Instruction should be clear, calm,
and thorough. All questions (there are no dumb ones, just dumb answers)
should be answered. If for example, a student asks me a question I can't
answer, I respond with "I don't know, but I'll find out and get back to
you." And, I do!

Docking and leaving the dock is one of the more difficult aspects of
"sailing." Your instructor should spend an adequate amount of time going
over engine and docking techniques, including docking under sail alone (in
case the engine dies when you're coming in).

I know that there is a lot to learn, and I don't expect to accomplish
all of this in a hurry, but I could sure use some help getting
pointed in the right direction. My only goal for the end of the season
is to get us out of the marina so that we can at least drop anchor and
swim a little. We don't have to be sailing pros within a few month's
time... just one small success will tide us over until next season. If
we manage to accomplish more, then that's all the better.

Don't worry... you won't be, but you do need basic instruction, confidence
building (which many women, young and old, seem to lack from time to time),
and time on the water, the latter of which is the ultimate teacher.

I currently have the electronic version of America's Boating Course at
home and I'm working my way through it as a first step. We are located
on the Illinois-Wisconsin border. What's your recommendation for the
next step? Thanks in advance for your time and advice.

Elizabeth


Books are great, but ultimately sailing is what counts. In a cult-classic
film call "Captain Ron," the protagonist says, "If it's going to happen,
it's going to happen out there," and that's absolutely true. Take a look at
some of USSailing's books, e.g., Basic Keelboat, or one of ASA's books,
e.g., Sailing Fundamentals. We use both of them in our programs out here.
They give good, basic explanations of most everything you need to know
about, but again, the most important thing is to find a good instructor (and
if you find a lousy one, dump him or her) and get out on the water.

I hope this helps....

Jonathan

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com