Elizabeth, your experience is not at all uncommon. But you have a desire to
learn, and that will carry you through with a proper instructor. You
mentioned that your local classes are taught in small boats -- you can and
will learn a LOT about sailing in dinghies. You are responsible for
everything on the small boats, and have to learn how to steer, trim sails,
hoist and dowse sails and trim the boat -- sometimes all at the same time.
Learning how to sail dinghies will give you a boatload of confidence in
handling larger keel boats.

Mostly, though, you need to find an instructor who is competent to teach.
Clearly your husband doesn't fit the bill.
You might look into the National Women's Sailing Association at
www.womensailing.org

Karin

wrote in message
ups.com...
I've been reading this newsgroup for the past year while rehabbing a
24', swing-keel sailboat, and the information that I've gleaned has
been invaluable. I'm hoping now that you can provide me with some
direction in obtaining the instruction I'll require to sail this boat.
Here is my scenario:

My husband is a life-long boater, with extensive experience in both
sailing and powerboating. My experience as a boater is primarily that
of a powerboat passenger -- in other words, minimal. We rehabbed a
boat to sail as a family, a boat into which I have personally put a
couple hundred hours worth of work. I asked my husband if my daughters
(pre-teen) and I should take sailing lessons, and he replied that he
could teach us everything that we needed to know. Well, my husband's
idea of sailing instruction was barking orders at his wife and kids,
and then yelling at us when we didn't do it fast enough or confidently
enough. After a handful of fsailing excursions ending with our
daughters huddling in tears in the cabin, he told us that he would
never sail with us again and that we'd ruined sailing for him. I think
the primary issue for me and my daughters is comfort level on the
boat. The experiences are new to us, and it's difficult to, for
example, to be immediately comfortable hoisting the mainsail in
moderate - heavy chop (we do it, just not with great speed).

The boat was something that we were looking forward to as a family. I
won't teach my kids that it's ok to quit at this just because their
father has determined that we're "incompetent" on the boat. I'm
determined to prove him wrong. The problem is that he won't help us.
Here's where I need some direction. There are a lot of boating classes
out there, and the pros and cons of each are difficult to sort
through. The sailing classes that I've located in our immediate area
use tiny little one person sailboats for instruction. This seems
inappropriate for us, since we've all read up on and experienced,
albeit to a small extent, the basic principles and logistics sailing
our particular boat. The biggest challenge we face at the moment is
getting the boat in and our of our slip at the marina... without that
ability, we're stuck in our lawn chairs hanging out at the dock. It
seems as though my immediate needs include boat handling, safety,
rules of the water and such.

I know that there is a lot to learn, and I don't expect to accomplish
all of this in a hurry, but I could sure use some help getting
pointed in the right direction. My only goal for the end of the season
is to get us out of the marina so that we can at least drop anchor and
swim a little. We don't have to be sailing pros within a few month's
time... just one small success will tide us over until next season. If
we manage to accomplish more, then that's all the better.

I currently have the electronic version of America's Boating Course at
home and I'm working my way through it as a first step. We are located
on the Illinois-Wisconsin border. What's your recommendation for the
next step? Thanks in advance for your time and advice.

Elizabeth