Thursday, January 27, 2005
Democrats To Sue Phil Hendrie Over Kerry Loss

Say his imaginary guests created "the illusion of a plurality" in Ohio

--Los Angeles Syndicated radio talk show host Phil Hendrie is under a legal
assault from the Democratic National Committee, claiming that the imaginary
supporters he interviewed nearly every night during the election cycle
"created the impression amongst fellow democrats that there were more
supporters of Kerry than actually existed."

Hendrie's show is best described as "radio ventriloquism." His guests, while
merely figments of his own imagination, are brought to life with a
lightning-fast ability to toggle between a phone receiver and the studio
microphone. Those familiar with the show listen vicariously, as unwitting
callers phone in to argue against a "guest" whose views are generally
polarizing and judgmental. Hendrie will generally take the moral high ground
against his own repulsive creation.

The DNC contends that these unwitting caller types are the bedrock of their
constituency. Chairperson Nancy Pelosi finds this opportunistic handling of
the gullible particularly disturbing. Hendrie, a democrat, supported George
W. Bush's reelection because he believed his own party "didn't get" 9/11's
larger ramifications. His show premises were structured accordingly, with
biting satirical representations of people alleged to either be Kerry
supporters, or even campaign staffers.

"I was listening one evening, and there was one of Phil's 'voices,'" she
said. "and there was this guy named Jeff Dowder claiming that Bush's
economic policies had cost him his job, and thus forced him to assume a
lifeguard position, all the while lying about his knowledge of CPR."

As the show progressed, the guest revealed that an eight-year-old boy had
drowned on his watch, and that his "job description ended at the water's
edge."

"People really believed it," she said, "and it made Kerry supporters sound
like a bunch of kooks, hung up on union ideals."

On another occasion, Doug Danger, who identifies himself repeatedly as "a
gay man and a gay journalist," was claiming that he "has a certain gay
intensity that would turn any Bush supporter," and that his job was to
intimidate people into voting for Kerry with his "gay eye."

"This is why we have to sue," said Pelosi. "Because Bush's Ohio victory was
clinched in the fog of Hendrie's existentialist obstructioneering."
Other characters included high school football coach Vernon Dozier, who was
giving Kerry his vote "because Bin Laden told him to," and, to add insult to
injury, southern California homeowner, Bobbie Dooley, who, in the wake of
the election results, said, "Blacks should do the rioting because that's
what they do."

"We cannot publicly support such a position," said Pelosi. "This man cost
John Kerry the presidency, and while we have no illusions of overturning
these dubious election results, we can at least make Mr. Hendrie's
professional life uncomfortable."

Pelosi says that, while the DNC will be the official plaintiff in the suit,
that original complaint has come from ordinary citizens. "Had it not been
for the circumspect talents of people like veteran Lloyd Bonafide,
restaurateur Ted Bell, bus driver Mavis Leonard and military cadet RC
Collins, we'd have never fully understood the level's of Mr. Hendrie's
deception."

Future campaign finance legislation will bear the names of these
whistle-blowers.

I've spoken with each at length on the phone, and I can tell you, these
people are the real thing." Pelosi said.