Blondie
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in
movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
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Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was
Chinese.
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A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into
the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the
blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing
into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and
still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and
said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow
into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to
roll up the windows first.
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A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye
while covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye
was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with
a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to
read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears
streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to
get emotional about getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire
frames."
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A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver
thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and
brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said,
"That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and some things
cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she
bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it
on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos . . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things
cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee."
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A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf
balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The
puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally,
after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
finally, not being able = to contain her curiosity any longer, asked,
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
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Saved the Best for Last!
This has to be one of the best blonde jokes around. This should make
all you technologically challenged people feel GOOD: A young man
wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for
their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell
phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its
features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her
new phone. The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to
her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he
said, "how do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear
as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
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