katy wrote:
WHen you take her sailing, don't ask her to do
anything. Make her as comfortable as possible. Have a bottle of wine
on board. A boc of chocolates, a good book. Ig things get dicey, don't
get mad. Just clear the decks and do what has to be done. And get your
engine fixed so it never happens again. DON'T not take her sailing when
she asks. Take fer, grit your teeth, and think of the benefits that
might come from being pleasant for the day.

Okay I just cant let this one go. There is a lot of going back and forth
about which one os in the wrong and the fact is that it is both of their
faults. He should not have invited her to go out. If you want to spend time
with her on the boat sit and have lunch tied tot he dock. If she is not
comfortable on the water don't try to change her and make her like it. When
a problem arises you should know after 27 years with her that arguing back
when she drives you nuts is not going to work. I bet if you just suggested
that she go sit and relax while you deal with it and to please leave you
alone so that you can save what little patience you have for the job at hand
she would understand. Then you can be the problem solver all by yourself and
she can not have to worry about spending a bunch of time out there when she
is not comfortable on the water. Lesson 1: Don't bring someone sailing that
doesn't like the water.

Secondly she should have let him do what was needed. I am not going to make
a male/female remark here because she doesn't sound like someone that can not
handle adversity in nature but she is not a sailor and should have left the
decision making to someone that has experience in sailing instead of
constantly second guessing him and nagging him. That sort of behavior shows
a huge lack of consideration and respect for your partner. If anybody,
girlfriend wife friend or otherwise, ever treated me the way she treated him
I would seriously reconsider my relationship with them. She went out with
him knowing that he wanted to spend time with her and share something he
loves to do and when a little adversity strikes that he feels confident he
can resolve she spends the entire time nagging him instead of offering to
help or just stay out of the way.

This being said I am sure I will get a lot of people saying that I know
nothing of this sort of thing and I am stupid but the fact is that how we
treat each other, especially in rough times, is more important the small
experience at hand. if he was wrong in wanteing to stay there until the
morning, and he may have been, she still had no right to treat him that way.
She should have shown a little trust in his judgement as a sailor, a husband,
and a father, to make this call without second guessing him. He should have
known not to bring her. All in all I think that he may have learned
something by this esxperience but i doubt him appoligizing and taking full
blame for it will help her to learn from this and mae things better for them
both in the future.

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