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[email protected] dbohara@mindspring.com is offline
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First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Jul 2006
Posts: 131
Default Shame and debasement


Chi Chi wrote:
The wife should buy hubby an auto pilot for christmas so she can stay home
and face all those challenges of raising children that You speak so highly
of. I noticed dear kate You ignored the part where the hubby stated he has
told her and shown her time and time again how to do things and she can't
seem to get it. Of course you blame the man for not having patience with the
female but did You ever stop to think maybe she's just not smart enough to
get it. Oh wait that takes thinking. sorry
"katy" wrote in message
...
Gilligan wrote:
Leave the wife home.


She wants to sail.

Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the
problem, she can only make matters worse.


Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the
workings properly.
Just think of what might have
happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to prevent
catastrophe.


He would have fallen apart.

The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement will
be when you are out sailing the world - without her.


No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female
instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching women
and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn to sail by
being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when I got it wrong
he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of sailing experience and
began sailing on their boats. Funny how other people are loathe to yell
at you on their boats. The constraints of pioliteness with someone elses
wife helps a lot. (And their wife will crawl all over them if they yell at
you.)

I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's emotionally
driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not understanding.


He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you think
the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men who prefer
the vouch for life.
Why
aren't women expected to understand men?


They do. That's the problem.

Why is it assumed that women are so
handicapped?


Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes back
to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet.

Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism?

Because they like warm bodies...

Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some family
matters.


Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life:
danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing, caring,
emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things you need to
deal with when sailing.

Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as
attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the
like.


You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my
grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making
incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face the
external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the
pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to fix
ehatever her husband can't.

In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and the
woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won.


Bunk.....

It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner
Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain
that he would add brilliant insight.


And thank God for that...



I have an auto-pilot and I use it when singlehanding.
Now along those lines a story about a marraige gone bad. Years ago, we
were caving with a husband wife team and were going down a really bad
road in their 4WD truck, came to a deep water filled hole. Henry stops
the truck and says "Mary Lou, why dontcha get out and lock in the hubs"
which she dutifully does while standing in water. Henry turns to me
and says "you didnt know I had automatic hubs did you". They got
divorced.
Kathy cannot sail I think mostly cuz she doesnt want to. She has never
been calm on the water cuz she was brought up inland up north and isnt
really a good swimmer either although good enough. She just doesnt
relax near the water. She is fine in the mountains climbing or hiking
but water makes her nervous. After many years, I understand this and do
not pressure her to like it. She has taken sailing lessons but
promptly forgot them because it just isnt her thing. I built the
little MiniCup sailboats cuz I thought her and the kids would like
them. The kids loved them but she tried once and wont go near them
again. Its just not her thing.