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Gilligan Gilligan is offline
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First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,049
Default Useless propeller

Our distresses being at an end, I now determined to rest the men in camp and
give the scientific department of the Expedition a chance. First I made a
barometric observation, to get our altitude, but I could not perceive that
there was any result.
I knew, by my scientific reading, that either thermometers or barometers
ought to be boiled, to make them accurate; I did not know which it was, so I
boiled both. There was still no result, so I examined these instruments and
discovered that they possessed radical blemishes: the barometer had no hand
but the brass pointer, and the ball of the thermometer was stuffed with tin
foil. I might have boiled those things to rags and never found out anything.

I hunted up another barometer: it was new and perfect. I boiled it half an
hour in a pot of bean soup which the cooks were making. The result was
unexpected: the instrument was not affected at all, but there was such a
strong barometer taste to the soup that the head cook, who was a most
conscientious person, changed its name in the bill of fare. The dish was so
greatly liked by all, that I ordered the cook to have barometer soup every
day. It was believed that the barometer might eventually be injured, but I
did not care for that.

I had demonstrated to my satisfaction that it could not tell how high a
mountain was: therefore I had no real use for it. Changes of the weather I
could take care of without it. I did not wish to know when the weather was
going to he good: what I wanted to know was when it was going to be bad, and
this I could find out from Harris's corns. Harris had had his corns tested
and regulated at the government observatory in Heidelberg, and one could
depend upon them with confidence.

So I transferred the new barometer to the cooking department to be used for
the official mess. It was found that even a pretty fair article of 'soup
could be made with the defective barometer: so I allowed that one to be
transferred to the subordinate messes.

I next boiled the thermometer, and got a most excellent result: the mercury
went up to about 200° F. In the opinion of the other scientists of the
Expedition, this seemed to indicate that we had attained the extraordinary
altitude of' 200,000 feet above sea level. Science places the line of
eternal snow at about 10,000 feet above sea level. There was no snow where
we were. Consequently it was proven that the eternal snow line ceases
somewhere above the 10,000 feet level and does not begin any more. This was
an interesting fact, and one which had not been observed by any observer
before

The success of my last experiment induced me to try an experiment with my
photographic apparatus. I got it out, and boiled one of my cameras, but the
thing was a failu it made the wood swell up and burst, and I could not
see that the lenses were any better than they were before..

We continued on up the mountain. The difficulties of the next morning were
severe. but our courage was high, for our goal was near. At noon we
conquered the last impediment - we stood at last upon the summit - and
without the loss of a single man, except the mule that ate the glycerine.
Our great achievement was achieved - the possibility of the impossible was
demonstrated.