Well, let's see...

Your *wife's* boat is kinda ordinary, semi-attractive, and has a
wide-open rear end for easy entry.

Yeah. Accurate concept so far.

My boat has a large, thick mast and is reported to have been banging
your wife's boat while you were watching some lame movie on your lame
home theater.

Yep. Still pretty valid! Let's get a little more data and call it a
scientific theory.

Frank, aka "Jody the sailorman"

P.S. Tell your wife and my son I said, "Hi!"