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When to shoot a falre into someone elses bilge WAS: When would you board someone else's boat??
On Thu, 22 Apr 2004 20:09:12 -0400, (Bob
D.) wrote:
What you did is called communication and reasoning. Thankfully this tact
usaully works and I'm glad it worked out to your satisfaction. I also
think in all cases this should be tried, even before "calling the cops".
Still, I have come accross people who can't be reasoned with. Period.
Taking the case of your neighbor, suppose the neighbor's response was:
"My dog wasn't over there, must have been someone elses..."
There is usually more than one dog in any given neighborhood.
So you take picture of the dog crapping in your yard and show it to him.
"I really can't tell if that's my dog..."
Now he's pushing it..
So then you pound on their door the moment the dog crouches in your yard.
You finally have indisputable evidence the dog is crapping in your yard,
forcing the owner to own up to his responsibility, so he over and cleans
up the mess.
Are you always going to catch the dog crapping? Are you always going to
be able get the owner while the dog is crapping? Do you think based on
the owners previous responses that they will clean up the **** on their
own without your "indisputtable proof"?
I don't understand what the big deal is. Poop is biodegradable. It's
not like the dog dented your car or scratched your boat.
In short, this person's lack of responsibility has put the burden on
someone else. Either be more vigilant alerting the owner, clean the ****
up yourself, or deal with the consequences of dog **** in your yard.
Since you can't be vigilant enough to always see where the dog went, you,
your family, or your guest may have to deal with stepping in dog **** and
bringing it into your house.
Walking through my back yard is like walking through a minefield, yet
I can manage to avoid all of the "doggie doughnuts". So I imagine that
a single turd in the middle of a 15,000 sq foot yard would be
statistically "safe" from being stepped on for the week or so that it
takes to dissolve.
Please believe me, I'm not abdicating ANY course of action. I merely wish
to state that Doug is right in the sense that there are inconsiderate
people who can't be reaasoned with, and often if it not a criminal offense
the police (especially in larger cities) will not respond in a timely
manner.
While I agree that there are idiots in the world, the fact that the
police may find these little domestic squabbles to be beneath them,
does not justify someone taking the law into their own hands, and then
having the unmitigated gall to act surprised when that neighbor
retaliates.
When they do the inconsiderate SOB merely denies their fault.
Wouldn't you? It's human nature to become defensive when accused of
something. Provide me with proof that I did something, and I'll deal
with it. Otherwise, leave me alone.
This ofen leads to finding a way to tolerate it or finding a way to make
them stop.
I know I'm being picky (unfortunately that's who I am), but to me it's not
always the action that I find offensive. Often it's the fact that someone
who doesn't really know me is making an assumption that I should deal with
a mess that they've chosen not to. Without getting into semantics like
physical ability or age, an owner allowing their dog crap in my yard
without cleaning it up, indicates that the owners time is "too important"
to tend to his responsibility.
Lifestyles being what they are, this is often true. All people
prioritize their actions. When we judge other people, we are doing
nothing more than gauging their choices against our own subjectivity.
Who gives any one of us the right to make these value judgements
against other people?
It say that even on my property, their
needs come first. When I see someone flick ashes out of the window of
their new car, then throws the butt out it screams: "I find a messy car
offensive, here you deal with it okay?"
How are you dealing with it? Ashes and butts are biodegradable.
When someone parks their new car
in a crowded lot two spaces is says: "My car is too important to get
scratched so one other person will get to walk two blocks in the rain to
go shopping".
No, what it says is that the car owner invested a considerable amount
of money and time to get the car that he likes, and wants to take care
of it.. Since there are way too many people in the world who have no
consideration for other's property, and think nothing of "door
dinging" other people's cars, this owner has taken additional steps to
minimize this from occurring. The fact that some other people see this
action and incorrectly interpret it as a pompous, inconsiderate act
and then get an urge to "screw" with his car "just because",
underscores the antisocial nature of these same people.
If your neighbor blast their stereo at 3am they're
saying: "I don't care about your comfort:
Yes it does, and that's why we have noise ordinances.
Inconsiderate behavior in general screams a chorus of: "ME! ME! ME! **** YOU!"
Yes. But which behaviors are considered "inconsiderate" are often a
matter of opinion. Some things are blatant and fairly cut and dry. But
is the guy who takes up two spaces to protect his shiny new car any
more inconsiderate than the actions of those who would carelessly
scratch it?
Much of what you would consider "inconsiderate behavior" is borne from
a defensive posture. Many of us become "inconsiderate" to protect
ourselves from the "inconsiderate" actions of others.
And your right, Charlie, I won't waste my time hoping for something "bad"
to happen to these people, but I can't profess to being above smiling at
irony or in worse cases having a lack of compassion when the irony is
cruel.
I would call it God's revenge, but guys like Doug would cringe at
that.
In the case of people inconsiderate with their car, sadly, it
would make me chuckle if someone accidently bumped their car at the light,
scratching their bumper causing them to spill their beverage over their
new interior of the car that they burdened others with to keep pristine.
I have a problem with this. Why would you enjoy seeing someone's pride
and joy ruined? And why has his efforts to keep his car clean become a
burden to others?
If the inconsiderate neighbors dog get away and is hit by a car, I will
feel terrible for the dog, and the neighbors kids, but I doubt if any of
my sympathy falls with the neighbor.
Perhaps not. And one could make a good case that the dog owner's
irresponsibility placed the dog in the position that resulted in his
getting hit.
From what you write, your a very reasonable person and probably a better
person than I am. You seem like you would be a very nice neighbor to
have. People like yourself server as a good example that I have to
continue to try to be a better person.
The best neighbors are the ones who do not complain. Human nature
being what it is, means that in the normal course of time, that people
in close proximity will ultimately encounter some sort of activity
which "bothers" them. As long as they are not being grossly negligent,
then try to understand that people have the right to engage in certain
activities. Should the guy who works second shift have a right to
complain when his neighbor mows the lawn at 10:00 AM? When you put
yourself in this situation, you have to weigh the consequences of your
actions, and not expect the rest of the world to make adjustments for
your unusual lifestyle.
This is the basis of "majority rule". The majority of people live
within a certain range of activities. Those are given priority in
consideration over those who "march to a different (and sometimes
incompatible) drum".
Dave
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