The fourth of July on the Wacissa (Jefferson County, Florida), hot and
muggy but cold clear water to swim in. Then the moron arrives with his
airboat...........

Puts it in the water and proceeds to run up and down the river like
he's had too much Starbucks. Gets a cute girl in a bikini aboard and
proceeds to run in ever smaller circles rasin so much noise youda
thought it was rainin North Korean missiles. Circles gets too small,
water pours over the side and down she goes............sinks like a
stone with the chica floundering in the hydrilla like gator bait. A
kayaker tows her ashore. The airboat has sunk to the top of its prop
cage and the engine was running at the time..............
So, what would you do if you were a redneck in this
situation..........obviously, something even more foolish, you try to
tow the sunken airboat ashore with ANOTHER airboat. A long rope tied
to second airboat stern and to sunken boat, rev her up all the way.
Somehow, this makes towing airboat tilt up at the bow so second airboat
takes water over the stern. Operator nearly loses it but stops engine
in time.
Plan B.........After more brain juice in a six-pack.
Big jacked up Dodge Ram 4wd with huge "Gumbo Monster Mudder" tires and
no muffler gets backed to the waters edge, rope wont reach. OK, he
thinks his truck can go anywhere so he backs it INTO the water. There
is no landing at this spot, its just mud and the truck rapidly settles
into it halfway up the tires. This does not look good. He revs her
up making more noise than the airboats causing geysers of mud to be
thrown so much that you cant see the truck.. Uh-OH........ When he
stops, water is flowing into the cab.
Plan C
Another 4WD, this one has a winch on the front and he refuses to get
too close to the waters edge (clearly a case of not enough beer). Runs
his cable out all the way but it wont reach. This guy must be the
braniac of Jefferson County cuz he actually inspects the rope from the
sunken airboat and decides its in bad shape. They finally locate a
good towing cable to attach to the steel cable on the winch. The
airboat slowly comes toward shore and when it comes out it is covered
with hydrilla.
At this point, we had to leave to have burgers at my parents place so
we didnt see how the rescue of the sinking 4WD unfolded but I heard
some remarks about a backhoe over at the nearby quarry so i assume
there was more entertainment planned.