NOYB wrote:
News From the Other Border


The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
the illegal immigration.

The unflinching arrogance of the Bush Administration is prompting the exodus
among liberal citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and
agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal-rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fieldsat
night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose
acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and
hungry."He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.
When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him
my screenplay."

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare
Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The
liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't
give milk"

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near
the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across
the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are
not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I
found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a pleasant
little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing
loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been
circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education campsin
which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

Liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border.
Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap
Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans
disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping
buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. "If they can't
identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious
about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't
support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does
one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice
President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the
administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to
Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we
might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is
determined to reach out."

Oh fer cry sakes, NOYB, that was already old immediately after the last
election.
Some clinical reading for you:

The Cluster B personality disorders of the DSM-IV include the
antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality
disorders. While none of these are a perfect description of the typical
troll's behavior, they do share features with the troll.
First of all is the antisocial personality disorder, also known as
psychopathy or sociopathy. Antisocial behavior includes some of the
following elements:
 Failure to conform to social norms
 Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or
conning others for personal profit or pleasure
 Consistent irresponsibility
 Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or
rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another
Narcissism is the ego unbound. The DSM-IV describes the narcissistic
personality disorder as, "A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in
fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy,
beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts...."
Some indicative behavior are these:
 Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates
achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without
commensurate achievements)
 Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power,
brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
 Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of
especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her
expectations
 Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to
achieve his or her own ends
 Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the
feelings and needs of others
 Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Some elements of the histrionic personality disorder, a disordered
personality exhibiting an excessive need for attention, also manifest
themselves in trolls:
 Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center
of attention
 Interaction with others is often characterized by provocative
behavior
 Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and
lacking in detail
What the Cluster B personality disorders have in common is manipulative
behavior, a lack of empathy, and self-centeredness. What separates
trolls from typical people with Cluster B personality disorders is a
form of social aversion or fear of identification that prevents them
from acting out their self-centered behavior in less anonymous places.
The result is that these needs are satisfied on the Internet. Here are
my criteria for the Internet Troll Personality Disorder:
The Internet Troll Personality Disorder is characterized by
attention-seeking and disruptive behavior in anonymous, delocalized
places of socializing. It is indicated by the following traits:
1. A tendency to make provocative comments to invoke emotional
responses in others
2. A lack of connection to the community being trolled; i.e., will
leave if desired response is not invoked ("Do not feed the trolls!")
3. A dissatisfaction with one's life and a cynical attitude towards
things in general
4. A tendency to challenge the rules and authorities of a community
5. A preference to exhibit these behaviors only in places where one's
true identity is unknown
Disclaimer: It takes a qualified professional to diagnose anyone with a
personality disorder.
Source:
http://www.behavenet.com/capsules/di...sification.htm