Bob D. wrote:

Quick question along these lines, when is it okay to fire your flare gun
into somone elses bilge, or at least urinate upon their deck?

Two years ago, I was at Put-in-Bay sleeping one off at my favorite
facility, when at 7:30am one Sunday this "gentleman" started his go fast
boat which had twin unmuffled engines.

I was along the wall, the marina was packed, so this guy was perpendicular
to me along the pier squeezed between me and the boat in front of him.
His exhaust was about one foot away from the starboard side of my boat
hull.

Needless to say when he started the engine, I sprang up and almost crapped
my pants. Now I'll admit I am prejudiced against loud go fast boats, as
I don't personally see the use in the excess noise (same opinion of loud
harleys), but I've never begrudged someone over it. If its loud and
moving into my quiet zone, it will eventually move out of earshot and it's
no longer a problem. And even though it's 7:30am, he still has to start
his boat to leave, right?

Unfortunately this ****head didn't have a clue about courtesy and decided
he needed to start his engines long before unsecuring his spring lines, or
taking in his power line, water hose, or even his morning reign on the
porcelin throne. I guess he needed those hi performance ponies good and
warm huh? TWENTY FIVE MINUTES LATER, bozo the boater pulled out of the
marina.

By this time I couldn't get back to sleep as all I could her afterwards
were my friends and neighbors awake, talking about what a flamming asshole
this guy was.

What would your reaction be?

Bob Dimond



I would consider writing a gentle, threatening note signed "an
x-friend" warning him that his "lack of consideration" for other
persons' quiet enjoyment of their property could become reciprocal,
and surreptitiously gluing it to his windscreen with soluable glue
and a long handled applicator some lonely 4 AM. Don't go aboard. I
might also leave a rotton fish or bag of dog **** or a rotton egg or
six on his deck, not broken, just a warning gift. Use rubber gloves
and cut out words from some magazine or newspaper, and burn the book
with the holes in it. Don't cause any damage to his boat.

You could get several niegbours to sue him in small claims court
over it, a week or so apart. Expect to lose, but you might get lucky.

Get a really crappy sounding stereo turned up too loud to wake him
up to Yoko Ono at 6 AM a couple of times, he'll enjoy that. Make
sure your niegbours all laugh and applaud and toast to him with
grapefruit and liqueurs as soon as he comes on deck to complain.
They could all hold up score cards, like 2.3, 4.1, 6.8, etc. You
could make it into a really nice breakfast party. Tape it all and
send it to funniest videos, he'll look good on TV, you'll get some
money.

No point in politely advising him of your fellow boaters' feelings
in the presence of a witness or two, the clod would just go overly
defensive, right? It would be really nice if the ignorant asshole
would idle out of the slip under trolling motor power and start his
sonic warp drive up out side the breakwater if leaving early, but he
would never agree until he had suffered as you did.

You could clean a few guns where he could see you doing it, while
muttering insanely about sonic vandals and drinking heavily from a
whiskey bottle full of tea beside a bag of sugar. Tip a little sugar
into the bottle from time to time. Don't speak to him, just yell at
your "crew" below decks about inconsiderate assholes, while ignoring
him.

Print this out (minus my name, please), or something similar and
tell him someone asked you to give it to him, and that your
niegbours all voted it was the best thing to do, because you all did
not really want to upset him unneccessarily. Maybe they will all
sign it.

Or, just forgive him once or twice and pray for him.

Judge Judy would be on your side, so long as you did not instigate
violence or real damage. She hates noisy, inconsiderate people, too.

There is a site somewhere concerning really nasty dirty tricks, some
of which are essentially harmless, I don't remember the URL.

Terry K