" JimH" jimh_osudad@yahooDOT comREMOVETHIS wrote in message
. ..

"Gene Kearns" wrote in message
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On Fri, 07 Apr 2006 14:39:03 -0400, JohnH penned the following well
considered thoughts to the readers of rec.boats:



They were also supported by parents who gave a damn.
You make a good point... and one that I should have addressed. Busing
destroyed the community schools and created a remote location that no
longer carried any oversight from the home or local community. A
recipe for disaster.

Another point to ponder is the number of kids that do not receive
supervision from at least one parent... and this happens when both
parents MUST work to pay the bills. Another recipe for disaster.

Actually no. The problem is not supervision while the parents are working
but the lack of involvement by the parent(s) in their childrens education.
Without the parent(s) attending conferences with the teacher(s) and making
sure their children keep on top of their homework the child is often
destined to fail. All this can be done even with both parents working.

How many kids who are failing in school have mothers or fathers who do not
work and *are* are home? I would guess a fair amount.

If the parents do not care.........why should the child?


My story. Or, rather, my grandkid and daughter's story.

My daughter is the mother of two great, young boys. The oldest finishing
third grade.
He's a normal, healthy, regular eight year old who enjoys bikes, video
games, baseball, tree forts and general screwing around after school
building creations from his dad's supply of 2x4's and scrap plywood.

In school he's an average student ... B's and C's ... with an occasional A
that is cause for celebration and praise. He's quiet ... not a discipline
problem at all, and is well liked by his friends. He's of normal intellect
.... no Einstein by any means, but he's not a dummy either. He's a normal kid
with tendencies toward being a bit reflective, thoughtful and maybe a bit
sensitive. He also has a genuine creative mind that is reflected in his
homemade "inventions". He admits to a tendency to "daydream" at times in
school, (a past time that I remember all too well through all my years in
school).

This year, his 23 year old, third grade teacher suggested to my daughter at
a parent/teacher meeting that she suspected he may have ADS and might
benefit from medication to help him focus more on school work. My daughter
was shocked at first, but over time the teacher continued pressure that
medication would help him achieve his "full potential". Remember now, this
is third grade!

After the third or forth discussion, the teacher enlisted the aid of a
school consoler who also favored a further investigation regarding the ADS
diagnosis by the 23 year old teacher. My daughter was becoming emotionally
distraught because she wanted to do the best for her kid, but was reluctant
to start medicating him unless it was absolutely necessary. It got to the
point were she asked the opinion of Mrs.E. and I. Me being me, advised her
to tell the teacher and consoler to take a hike and let the kid be a kid.
After all, I pointed out, the grades the teacher was giving him didn't
appear to be consistent with a kid with a serious learning disability. I
suggested that maybe he could get more A grades by applying more effort, but
we are only talking third grade here, not a senior in high school. My
uneducated, nonprofessional opinion was to let the kid enjoy his childhood
as long as everything was in general balance. The teacher, however, was
now making my daughter feel guilty for not doing what was in the best
interest of the kid. It really became a messy, stressful and emotional
issue. In addition, veiled and subtle references were given to
investigations of parental neglect resulting in some extreme cases.
Recognizing that my advise was not going to help calm her down now that the
issue was getting out of hand, we suggested she have the kid tested and
evaluated by someone other than the 23 year old teacher.

It was agreed to have the kid tested by a school psychologist. Meanwhile, my
daughter consulted with her pediatrician who basically told her the same
thing I had told her .... tell them to take a hike ... the kid's fine. A
meeting was held with the psychologist, the teacher and the school consoler
with my daughter and her husband. The psychologist announced that the
results of the IQ and other tests indicated that the kid was perfectly
normal. The teacher, basically ignoring this, started debating ADS with the
psychologist in front of my daughter and son-in-law and continued to
recommend medication for ADS for the kid. She also, and for the first time,
acknowledged that she was under treatment herself for adult ADS and went on
to explain how it helped her. She even started suggesting what medication
to take and what not to take.

My daughter politely but firmly told her to take a hike, her decision was
made, was final and any further discussion would be with the superintendent
of schools in attendance. That was about 2 months ago. The 23 year old
teacher's latest report is that the kid is doing fine, no problems, average
grades and being a typical, normal third grader.

I am glad my kid raising days are over. The public school system is totally
out of control nowadays, and was heading that way when our kids were young.
Our two oldest attended public schools. The youngest went to a private
school. Fortunately, all survived and have their heads screwed on straight.

RCE