ROTFLMAO and I thought I have had bad days.

ChrisW

Jim wrote:


Something forwarded to me -- can't attest to accuracy, but makes a good
story

Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I
had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of
year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan,
and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. .This floods my whole suit
with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going
well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I
scratched it. This only made things worse... Within a few seconds my
butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage
was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine
had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I
don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched
what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into
the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the
dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water Decompression
stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to
begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the
medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
butt was swollen shut So, next time you're having a bad day at work,
think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up
your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love
my job"
Bob Pasch Director of Maintenance -- Jim