On Tue, 21 Feb 2006 18:07:35 GMT, "Albert Frankenstein"
wrote:

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape.
It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all
four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using
a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you
get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too
late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show
they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like
ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.


When my boys were young half of the upstairs in our house was one big
barnlike high ceiling playroom. I put a nerf basketball goal up on
one endwall of the room.

Room had two ceiling fans. believe it or not you can knock the blades
off of ceiling fans if you hit them with a nerf basketball enough
times.

And, even running without shoes, years of fast breaks will pop the
drywall nails out of the ceiling below.

Now where did I put that brake fluid?

Frank