DSK wrote in message .. .
"Backyard Renegade" wrote
Irrelevant,
but I guess you sounded good to yourself.


Jeff Morris wrote:
So are you claiming that statues, figureheads, and other artwork should be
covered because you find it offensive?
...(snip)... Do you want your children's teachers to tell them
that such things are offensive and should be avoided? Frankly, reading your
posts I have no idea what you are saying, except you seem offended by something.


** ** a relevant joke ** **

Dear Dr. Laura...

On her US radio show recently, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an
observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to
Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The
following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident,
which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge
with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22
clearly states it to be an abomination. ... End of debate. I do need some
advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Law
and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They
claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?


No Let them bring the A1 sauce.

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price
for her?


Heathen, No person should be sold into slavery.

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how
do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

The nose knows!


4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of
mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

They are un-cleanly. Stick to mexicans.


5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2. The passage clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally
obligated to kill him myself?

No. But suggest that he take a day off, that will do.


6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

Yes! Tell me o holy one. Which is more abominal
To swallow a salty oyster. Or to swallow a salty load?


7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have
a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?


Think moral, not literial.


8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by
Lev.19:27. How should they die?

No. Use baptist sizzors and it's OK.



9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

Just take a bath a couple of time a week and you should be OK.



10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made
of two different kinds of thread (cotton/poly). He also tends to curse
and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?

Yes it is. If the whole town feels that it is right to stone him,
then go ahead! Hopefully someone will object!


- Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do
with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Feel free! Just put it on the Jerry Springer Show!

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.
Thank
you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,


God's going to get ya for that one Tougboat!