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posted to rec.boats.cruising,uk.rec.sailing,aus.sport.sailing,alt.sailing
Pete Verdon
 
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Default A question of concern

Duncan Heenan wrote:

If he dies at sea, so what? It's how he's chosen to go, and at 85
what else has he to look forward to/


That's precisely what I thought for the first three paragraphs of
Faith's post. To be honest, it's something I've even thought of for
myself at that kind of age - somewhat morbid for a 24 year old!

That changed as soon as I read the next line. He's not just risking
himself, he's risking someone else. That's OK, just, if the someone else
knows exactly what they're letting themselves in for, but it sounds like
this lady does not. She has never sailed before, let alone undertaken
the kind of trip he's planning. She presumably loves and trusts him, and
believes him when he says he can sail her around the world. She may know
that what she's doing is dangerous; I very much doubt she knows *how*
dangerous.

I think any attempt to solve this problem has to revolve around her,
giving her a better understanding of what she's getting into. Sailing
lessons, as JG suggested, seem like a good idea, but for her, not him.
He'd almost certainly be insulted, and might well refuse to take part;
arranging for her to have a little experience before going just seems
like common sense to everybody involved - if Faith's paying, it seems
like a nice farewell present.

Work-up or shakedown trips before the final departure are another
sensible precaution, and another opportunity for the lady - and maybe
the father - to realise what's involved, and her for to either dissuade
him or change her mind about going.

At the end of the day, though, this kind of thing is all you can do. You
do not have the moral right to prevent either of them doing what they
want with their lives. The lady's lack of understanding is the only
problem here - if you fix that and she still wants to go, tough. Wish
them luck.

Pete