Braggadocios Bobsprit builds up his benthic Beneteau.

Jejune Jeff Morris thinks his turnturtleboat the cat's meow.

Deadwood Doug King fancies his silly trawler something more than a
pollution machine.

Knock-kneed Katysails lives aboard in a slip and uses an SUV to see
the sights. (The putzess even trucked her boat to the slip - a Bobsprit
wannabe - sad!)

Oblivious Ole Thom modifies the keel, rips out bulkheads and
stitches detergent bottles to his roll-up sails in lieu of sailing.

Gay Ganz spends more time homoculating than tacking and jibing.

Schlocky Scotty 'good buddies' on the CB more often than he
hails on the VHF in his Siedelmann.

Garrulous Gary is a gadabout without a sailboat to call his own.

And so it goes . . .

It might appear that I am simply engaged in a bashfest but my
madness has method. You need to ask yourselves, "Who, among
the above, actually sails and lives the sailing life?" You need to
be honest with yourselves and answer, "None of the above!"
Then you need to consider the fact that you sail even less than
they do. I know, it's not a pretty picture but please don't deny
reality!

Significant is the fact that the losers above all post here in a
failed effort to pretend that they are sailors but, in fact, none
of the above are anything more than simpletons who think they
can fool others into thinking they sail.

To the man (or osteoporotic woman), they succeed only in
fooling themselves. They are NOT sailors - never were and
never shall be sailors.

It is quite obvious that those who sail are not hanging around
here day after day posting and bragging and patting themselves
on the back and gabbing about how great their boats are even
though the only real purpose their boats serve is to keep four
dock pilings tied securely together.

Bobsprit is the prime example of a person who, instead
of using his vessel to sail, uses it as an implement of
braggadocio. It's not about the boat - rather, it's about the
ability of the owner (or owner's husband, bwaaahahahhaha!)
to fool the public into thinking the owner (owner's husband)
sails when said ignominious individual does nothing more than
hang around a newsgroup bragging about his 'sailing' which
mostly consists of cooking a few New York strip steaks on
the gas grill attached to the pushpit attached to the boat
attached to the slip. (And, from the cabin, the swoosh,
swish, swoosh of the breast pump - odd that Suzanne is
right there in the cockpit cooking the steaks.)

I, Capt. Neal, am a different breed. I sail! I use the Internet
during those times when I am not sailing but I'd rather be
sailing all of the time. This is quite the opposite of the likes
of Bobsprit, Morris, King, Katydocks, Ole Fart Thom, Gay Ganz,
Scotty, Gary and any and all other 'regulars' of alt sailing asa.
(A sad and sorry lot! Bob Crantz, Joe, Gilligan, Mooron excepted!)
How can anybody call themselves a sailor when they can be found
posting here 24/7/365?

You will note that I, Capt. Neal,
http://captneal.homestead.com/index.html
am absent the group more than I am present. This is because I SAIL.
I LIVE ABOARD. I ESCHEW THE LAND. I LOVE SAILING. I OWN
NO HOUSE ASHORE. I AM A SEAMAN, A PROFESSIONAL CAPTAIN.
MY BOAT IS MY HOME. THE SEA IS MY BACK YARD. THE WORLD IS
AT MY BECK AND CALL. I AM A FREE MAN AND ABLE TO GO WHERE
I WILL WHEN I WILL. I EARN MORE MONEY ON ONE SMUGGLING
RUN THAN MOST OF YOU MAKE IN TEN YEARS GRUBBING IN THE
DIRT. DISGUSTING SHEEP LUBBERS!

My boat is employed for that which she was created - she sails.
This makes her happy and this makes me happy. I'd rather be sailing
than posting here. This is the biggest difference between a real sailor
and a wannabe. Wannabes post here constantly. Sailors post here from
time to time when they can manage to squeeze it into their busy sailing
schedule. Sailors like myself post here in a futile attempt to educate
and inspire the otherwise hopeless, clueless, witless and, in
Bobsprit's
case, spineless.

To a real sailor a boat is a freedom machine. Brag all you want about
your Beneteaus, your silly Siedelmanns, your Frenchy Kiries, your
round-the-buoys Expresses but please remember than none of them
are even the equal of a Mac 26X that actually gets sailed more than
it gets bragged about. Ed Gordon was more the sailor than MOST of
you! Shame on you all. I have more respect for a man who sails even
a known inferior vessel than a man who keeps a Swan tied up in a slip.
Imagine how loathsome then is the man who keeps a 'pretender' tied up
in a slip and thinks it great thing.

So also does any other real sailor know the loathing. How ludicrous
is it to hear a Bobsprit, who keeps an inferior Beneteau slipped,
bragging? It doesn't get any more sickening than that! Therefore,
it's about time we change to a postivive note . . .

This brings me to my fine Coronado 27 - a modified, blue-water,
world cruiser. I have no need to brag. Instead I let actions speak
louder than words and "Cut the Mustard" is all action. Presently,
she is cruising again and on her way to the Bahamas for an extended
cruise. Neither hurricane nor lightning strikes can keep her in one
place for too long. I love sailing so much that I've even left a
voluptuous, wet and wild, oversexed blonde pining away ashore in
the good ole U.S.A. This is the badge of a true sailor man. Nothing's
wetter and wilder than the sea when she's in a rowdy mood.

If I get a chance and happen come across some Internet access
in various ports of call, I might decide to keep you informed as to
my adventures and whereabouts. (I do this and will even post a link
to pictures mostly for the sake of that wreck OleThom who is
too decrepit to sail any longer.) But, don't count on it regularly
as I'd rather be sailing than allow a passel of wannabe putzes to
live vicariously through my real life of sailing - not to mention the
time it might take away from that "woman in every port" who deserves
my special rigid attention from time to time. So, pick up a copy of
that woman's magazine, "Cruising World." It's more your style.

Wimps!


Respectfully,
Capt. Neal
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It is my opinion that a man should not mince
words just to spare the sensibilities of the
thin-skinned or the ignorant." --Capt. Neal®