Space Pope wrote:

I have my own Army - they are all former Marines and are trained in
several deadly arts - including training at the West Point of
Koosebain, The Koosebain Academy of Cream Pie, where they learn the
deadly arts of proper chucking of cream pies.

They also learn how to use eclair nunchucks, oatmeal/raisin throwing
stars and that deadliest of all weapons, the stale French Loaf.

mmmmm..eclairs! What about 'creme horns'? They're my favourite. Add
them to your arsenal and I might join up.