Bill Maher on Nookular Boy
This was Bill Maher's closing bit on his most recent HBO show:
Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more
money to spend - you used up all of that. You can't start another war
because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your
term has become the Bush family nightma helping poor people. Listen
to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one's
speaking to you. Mission accomplished.
Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and
walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company
and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next
fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you're
saying: there's so many other things that you as President could
involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left
to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on
yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social
Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.
But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern
like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that
you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks
like a man. Herbert Hoover was a ****ty president, but even he never
conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.
On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four
airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of
New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't
love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if
you were on the other side.
So, yes, God does speak to you.
What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.' "
-----------------------------
Larry's Humor List
San Francisco, CA
|