"Roger Long" wrote:

"Rosalie B." wrote in message
.. .

This is YOUR fault. You need to explain IN ADVANCE exactly what you
are going to do and what the line handler is going to do, and have
their hand on the line that you want them to be doing something
with -
make them repeat it back to you, or whatever it takes.

I agree 100%. This is the part I trying to learn. I do try to brief
and explain in advance but my crew is on the cusp of impatient,
know-it-all, teenagerhood . Their eyes roll long before I get through
a full explanation and they get that, "can't we just go sailing?"
look. Their mother breaks in and says, "Don't lecture them, just tell
them what you want them to do."

Explain to her too what you want to do. Have her sit and keep the
engine going. Make her steer (!!!). That will keep her too busy to
complain.


I do put their hand and the cleat and tell them to unwrap it and let
it go. Then I look up and find them fumbling with the end looped fast
into the other cleat that can't be undone because of the tension.

I would also suggest again that you don't have the line attached at
the end that you want him to undo. Stand there while he undoes it
and tell him that he will have to hold the boat in position, that he
has to do this task because his mom isn't strong enough to hold the
boat. This will give him importance.

There is a fine line somewhere between boredom and conveying enough
information to cover all possible mix ups that I haven't found yet.

One key is to ask questions instead of lecturing.

I want to get the boat out of the slip so that it doesn't hit a boat
that would be in this slip next to us - so it has to stay in this
area. How would you do that? (and then wait for him to formulate an
answer)

Strange thing is that I used to be a sailing instructor and was
considered a very good one. I used to take people (girls) who had
never been in a boat before in their life out in Solings on Sunday
afternoons in Boston Harbor and talk them through setting the
spinnaker (yes, I was young and dumb then). Everything seems to work
better with non-family members. A lot of this is normal family
dynamics spilling over onto the boat.

My husband tends to yell and complain a lot about my skills, but I
don't get upset about it most of the time. Another person might.
That's why all those sailing schools for women emphasize that there
will be no yelling.

grandma Rosalie