"Captain Lon" sniveled:

LP typed gingerly so as not to break her calcium deficient bones in her
bent fingers: I'm Capt. Neal's girlfriend

GIRLfriend? That's rich! More like oldbittyfriend.

As Joe would say, "jelious"? hahaaa. I'm a lot younger than katywails and
much cuter to boot. setting the hook

Would lady friend make you feel better about yourself?

LP