A Usenet persona calling itself KMAN wrote:
in article , Scott Weiser at
wrote on 4/13/05 7:31 PM:
A Usenet persona calling itself KMAN wrote:
It's not mentoring when neither party is willing or makes the choice.
You wrongly presume that neither party is willing
You didn't speak of any process whereby the parties in question have a say
in this "mentoring."
Why should they? They are students. They are given assignments and they are
expected to complete them.
A person with a disability is not an object. They are a human being, not an
"assignment."
They are human beings, and they are students. Students are given
assignments. Assignments may include mentoring other students.
and you incorrectly
presume that one has to "make the choice" to be a mentor. No such
restriction is found in the definition of the word.
I think most people's understanding of a mentorship relationship is that the
two people have chosen to be in the relationship.
Certainly such relationships are possible, but it is not a requirement.
I disagree, but this is getting into semantics. Whatever you wish to call
it, I am in total disagreement with a forced relationship of this nature.
It's about the worst thing you could do for all concerned.
Ridiculous! People are in "forced relationships" throughout their lives.
They need to learn as children how to deal with such relationships through
experience.
The non-disabled student is not trained in supporting the individual with
a
disability in an appropriate helper role and will serve the purpose of
teaching the individual with a disability that they are not competent and
need to be assigned a non-disabled person to make their decisions for
them.
Balderdash. The whole point is to TEACH the mentor how to mentor while also
teaching the disabled student how to be mentored.
Ah, basically teaching the non-disabled student to boss people with
disabilities, and teaching people with disabilities to be bossed.
Mentoring is not "bossing." It's "tutoring or coaching."
Being forced to tutor or coach someone who has not asked for your tutoring
or coaching is a boss/being bossed relationship.
Not really.
Absolutely the worst possible suggestion, unless your goal is to make people
with disabilities even more vulnerable than they are.
The goal is to teach both students. No compulsory school student has freely
"chosen" to be in a mentor relationship with a teacher. They are required to
submit to education, and their teachers "mentor" them. It's not demeaning or
harmful for disabled student to be subjected to teaching, whomever the
teacher may be.
It is both demeaning and harmful to all concerned in the scenario you
propose. The forced-to-be-teacher does not have the maturity or training to
take on that role, and the forced-to-be-student is being asked to sort
through an impossibly confusing relationship whereby they are being bossed
by what should be a peer, not a superior.
That's why it's called "education." Everybody learns something.
Mentoring has nothing to
do with "making their decisions for them," it is simply defined as
"tutoring
or coaching."
Actually, even using standard dictionary definitions, the key to a mentoring
relationship is trust. While trust might possibly emerge from an imposed
relationship, it seems to me it is much more likely to come from a
relationship where the two people actually choose to be together.
That's happenstantial trust.
No, that's about mutuality.
Trust is also built between people forced
together through the interactions they experience.
That's also a good way to build hatred.
That it may be does not mean that it is, or will always be. Most of the time
it works out okay, and children need to learn early how to get along with
others, even those they don't like.
Maybe so, but the point is that neither
the two-year-old nor the disabled child nor the older child assigned to
mentor him are in charge of things
They should be.
They are CHILDREN. They don't get to be in charge of things until they are
grown up.
But you think children who are not disabled should be in charge of children
who are disabled.
Mentoring is not being "in charge of."
--
Regards,
Scott Weiser
"I love the Internet, I no longer have to depend on
friends, family and co-workers, I can annoy people WORLDWIDE!" TM
© 2005 Scott Weiser