A good Irish Catholic father !

The Irish daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years. Upon
her return, her father cussed her; "Where have you been all this time,
you ingrate!

Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know how you were
doing?

Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you put
your Mum through??!!"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a
prostitute..."

"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace
to
this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"

"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur
coat, title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account
certificate for =A35 million. For my little brother, this gold Rolex,
and for you Daddy
the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked
outside
plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club...(takes a breath)...an
invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht
in the Riviera,
and...."

"Now what was it you said you had become?" Girl, crying again, "Sniff,
sniff... A prostitute Dad! .. Sniff, sniff"

"Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said
"a
Protestant". Come here and give your old man a hug!