Some women love to feel superior to their mate. For instance, I
pretend to be too dumb to wash dishes, cook, vacuum, dust, laundry,
etc. so she does them all and thus feels she is smarter than me.
Scotty
"Capt. NealŪ" wrote in message
...
Katysails and the Five Languages of Love.
I, Capt. Neal, in the interest of improving myself and becoming more
desirable to the ladies, have taken it upon myself to read up on the
subject
of women so as to understand them better. In this way, I shall be
able to
satisfy them mentally and physically whereas, prior to my studies, I
have
been only fulfilling them physically.
One female aviator told me things such as, "Oh, my dear Captain, but
you
sure know how to please a woman in bed! Not only are you a ship's
Master
but you have also mastered the techniques of physical love."
However, later on as the day progressed, this physically satisfied
female
aviator was heard to say, "You know, dear Captain, as much of an
expert as
you are in bed you lack knowledge of how to please a woman out of
bed.
You've spent too much time alone at sea. But, you would be perfect
if you
would improve yourself in the latter area."
So, with the help of my local librarian, Ms. Heather, (who has
always had
a crush on me) recommending a couple of books for me to read and
having
finished reading them, I am learning how to be the perfect man - in
bed
and out.
May I recommend the following books to those sailors here on this
group
who would like to improve their success rate with the ladies. The
first is
named "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. This book taught me
to
see women differently than I previously have seen them. Woman are
not
happy being treated like galley slaves; on the contrary, they
actually thrive
on being treated with respect and as an equal partner. This thought
had
never even occurred to me prior to reading the recommended books.
It seems that women speak five kinds of love languages and the
language
of physical love is but one of the five. Besides the language of
physical
touch, women also speak the language of words of affirmation, the
language
of quality time, the language of receiving gifts, and the language
of acts
of service. Most women have a *primary* language of love and it is
up to
the man to figure out which it is and to learn to speak that
language.
Nothing a man can do will make a woman happier than speaking her
primary language of love.
When a man learns to speak a woman's primary love language he is
able to
keep her love tank topped off and all will be well with their
relationship
(this is provided the woman also learns to speak *his* primary
language of
love which may or may not be the same as hers.)
Myself, being a manly man like Joe, Mooron, Horvath, Scotty,
Gilligan and
a few others, at first thought the book ridiculous and just another
way to
give equality to women and to knock men down a few notches. How dare
women
presume to be treated like equals? It is against all logic and
reason.
However, it is also against all logic and reason for a man to love a
woman
and then proceed to drive her away because he lacks understanding of
the
her love language of refuses to speak it. What is better? A man
insisting on
his superiority and being lonely and miserable or a man swallowing
his pride
and being happy and loved? It took several cases of Rolling Rocks
but it
occurred to me that I had damned well better try the later situation
for once
in my life. Constantly jumping in and out of the beds of a long
string of
wenches is no life for an older gentleman. There comes a time to
cultivate
one good woman.
Besides, what's the harm in learning to speak a woman's language of
love
if the result is she will *willingly and lovingly* become your
galley slave.
So, as you can see, it has advantages even for us old salts.
For example, When I first met Miss Mo'lissa, I tried the old, gruff,
Captain-
is-master approach and I got exactly nowhere. So, I decided to put
my
newfound book-learning to good use and e-mailed her in a civil
manner and
asked if I could telephone her and talk when she had the time. She
said OK.
Later, when we talked, I asked her a few questions about things she
liked
and didn't like and I soon found out her primary love language was
words of
affirmation.
She loved to be told how good she was and how pretty and sexy and
how her
life was a success and how great a bartender she was and how
competent a
lifeguard she was and how lucky any man whose yacht she shipped onto
was.
Her love tank was becoming full and, of course, she desired more
topping off.
The reason I had struck out with my initial gruff replies to her
posts was
I was speaking a foreign language and certainly not her primary
language of
love. Just by learning to speaking her love language, I started
filling up
her love tank and now she's decided to come to the Keys for a sail
instead
of wasting her time in Cabo san whatever where the men haven't a
clue how
to speak her love language.
Another example where I've failed to speak the correct language of
love
is in my dealings with Katysails. It's very plain, now that I've
read the
above book and from the things Katy posts here, that Katy's primary
language
of love is Acts of Service. Mr. Sails has apparently failed to
realize this
fact because he clearly does not speak Katy's love language. It's
plain for
all to see that Katy's love tank is empty.
Acts of service is a difficult love language to speak unless one is
there in
person to speak it. Acts of service means doing things for your
woman like
washing the dishes, vacuuming the floors, washing her car, helping
her prepare
meals, etc. As a result, even if I wished to speak Katy's primary
language of
love, I would not be able to do so. Therefore, Katy will remain
embittered,
cold, and unfulfilled until and unless the right man comes along who
can
speak her primary love language and top off her love tank . It's a
shame
because a good man who speaks her primary language of love and was
there
with her could surely turn her into a happy, satisfied woman who
would bring
contentment and joy to this group instead of spite and anger.
The second book I would recommend to all you manly men is "Men Are
From
Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray, Ph.D. This book will
explain
how women think differently from men and how men can better interact
with
women so love grows instead of dying. It seems men and women are
totally
different. The main difference is women want and need to be listened
to.
They need to be listened to without a man suggestion solutions to
their
problems. Just having a man listen to them and affirming them seems
to
solve all their problems. Women might appear to always be
complaining but
they are not really. They are just expressing their desire to be
listened
to. A man does not generally have to *do* anything other than listen
to
make a woman happy. Men have some needs as well. Mostly, men need to
feel free to go to their caves when problems arise. They do this to
have time to think them through and don't need a woman coming into
their caves offering advice or sympathy. When a woman learns to
leave
a man be during these times of withdrawal, a good relationship
develops.
When a man goes into his cave, however, he must tell his woman that
he
will be back lest she worry he is abandoning her or no longer loves
her
or wishes to listen to her. There is a lot more to it but that is
the crux
of the matter.
Allow me to put it in terms of this group so that manly men might
understand
why they should learn to listen to their woman. Take Joe, for
example, he
and Miss Terry seem to get along very well. This is probably because
Miss
Terry is wise enough to let Joe go to his cave when he needs to and
Joe
is probably wise enough to really listen to Miss Terry when she
talks.
The result is a satisfied couple who get along just swimmingly. Miss
Terry
is so fulfilled that she no longer wastes her time posting here. She
has
better things to do and is secure in herself and her relationship
while
Joe can go to his cave of off to his favorite watering hole to think
his problems through. The Venusian and the Martian have learned
each other's culture.
Now, on to somebody whose relationship is a failure.
Poor Katysails!
It is so plain that nobody listens to Katy. Her posts in this group
are the
perfect example of this fact. Katy whines, complains, harangues,
preaches,
digs, insults, cuts, slashes, dices and fillets. Ask yourself,
"would a
happy and fulfilled woman be spending so much time here acting out
her
frustrations and aggressions? Most certainly not! Katy acts out here
because
nobody listens to her at home. Her life is a living hell. As stated
above Mr.
Sails does not speak her primary language of love and now we learn
he doesn't
listen to her either.
Now, don't get me wrong. I like Katy. Sometimes I think I love Katy
but
I am in no position to help her. I would ask that anybody up there
in
Michigan who lives close by please help Katy before it's too late.
See if
you can get her and Mr. Sails into counseling. Just bring this post
and
show it to the psychiatrist. He'll understand.
In the meanwhile, let's all pray for Mr. and Mrs. Sails.
Capt. Neal
-- a sensitive and caring alpha male.
|