Melissa wrote:
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On Wed, 19 Jan 2005 18:05:27 +0100, you wrote:


That never stopped me (and I absolutely don't like water in
quantities that aren't drinkable), even though I swam more often
than all of the other newbies in my first year of paddling
combined. :-)


There is so much to paddling that rewards overcoming fears and
hesitation, that I'm glad I continued to try to learn how to
paddle.


That's very interesting Wilko!

It does also inspire one to ponder one's own feelings about certain
types of fears; even for those of us who, for instance, claim to
"love water", and further claim to not be afraid of it.

Water seems an especially compelling subject for both our fears and
our undeniable attraction. Our physical bodies are mostly water, and
our planet's surface is, for the most part, covered with it. Water
enables our very lives, yet it can so easily play a part in ending
our lives as well. We are naturally drawn to it regardless of any
fears we may have concerning it.

If you don't mind, I'd be interested in reading more about your
"dislike" and/or "fear" of water in quantities larger than you can
drink, and how you reconcile that with your obvious love for seeking
out even some of the more "volatile" occurrences of it for your
paddling pleasure.

There are a couple of situations I can come up with off the top of my
mind that bring up some of the less defined fears in me.

One of those fears is of large columes of water moving around in a way
that feels like I can't control it, another is the fear of height.

I know, I've run some pretty big water, paddled a playboat in gale force
winds at sea and ran some waterfalls the height of my house... Sometimes
I found myself in a situation where it would be more fun to
concentrate on how to deal with my fears and go for it than stand around
on shore wondering what I'd miss. Other times there was a simple choice:
deal with it or be dealt with yourself. I've had some close calls.

I guess I've taught myself to try to deal with fear in a way that makes
me focus more on what can be done to prevent getting in trouble (or get
hurt) than on why or where I might get in trouble in the first place.

Having had some rather bad swims in big volume stuff (both in the surf
and on big volume rivers) hasn't helped my dislike of big volume stuff,
but that dislike isn't as strong as the satisfaction and fun I get from
paddling something like that with some friends and enjoying it.

It's not that I'm not aware of my fears, or that I try to shove them
under the carpet. I use fear to try to prevent myself from doing
something stupid, as one of the factors to weigh in whether or not I
want to run something. It is never allowed to dominate me, because i
know full well that to let go of reason is to give up and have panic
instead of technique or looking for options, but it's always there, in
more or less strength.

Not sure if this makes any sense, just finished building my new computer
and wanted to check if my internet connection worked again, my eyes are
falling shut and I can't for the life of me reread what I just wrote and
figure out if it makes any sense... We call that state "sleepdrunk". :-S

Good night!
--
Wilko van den Bergh wilko(a t)dse(d o t)nl
Eindhoven The Netherlands Europe
---Look at the possibilities, don't worry about the limitations.---
http://wilko.webzone.ru/