Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank you for not killing me before I had a chance to accept you as my
Personal Savior.

I believe that Liberals and Democrats are under the control of Satan and his
sneering minions, the educated and the well-traveled.

I do not want to be tossed into the incandescent flames of the sadistic hell
you created for those who did not vote for George W. Bush or waiver in their
faith by questioning the honesty, competence or syntax of Jesus' anointed.

Please Lord Jesus, I want to become a True RepublicanT and a Real AmericanT.
I accept you as my Lord and Savior.

I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day and floated off to
your invisible, exquisitely decorated mansion in the Holy Ghost's
subdivision in the clouds while an audience of early Republican prophets
looked on.

I believe that in voting Republican, I am doing the implacable will of God.

I long to join my brother in Christ, George W. Bush, and every single True
ChristianT who voted for Him.

I understand that all of America's problems began when we allowed ourselves
to be seduced by the pinko, pacifistic false version of Jesus found in the
New Testament, letting non-Protestant foreign trash into Your divine nation
and squandering time we could have been at war trying to make peace with
perfectly good enemies, before renewing our hearts and joyously embracing
Republican Christianity's new improved, steroid-engorged version of Jesus
Christ.

I want to help eliminate the deadly disease of liberalism and assist my
President and Your appointed servant on Earth to help rebuild this country
into the Glorious Christian Nation it once was on the rocky shores of
Puritan New England in the late 1600's.

I gladly tithe my mind and no less than 10% of my paycheck, renouncing the
demons of logic and education for they will no longer hold sway in my heart,
as I now have both Mr. Bush and Mr. Jesus as my co-redeemers!

Amen!

Bob Crantz