STANDARD USENET BONEHEAD REPLY FORM (version 9.5) ----

(check all boxes that apply)



Dear:

[ ] Clueless Newbie

[ ] Troller

[ ] "Me too"-er

[ ] Spammer

[ ] Racist

[X] Expert on everything (EOE)

[ ] Flamethrower

[ ] News Groupie



You Are Being Flamed Because:



[X] You obviously don't know anything about the topic at hand

[ ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup

[ ] You posted a picture (binary) of something YOU think is really

cool in an unmoderated TEXT ONLY news group

[ ] You started a long, stupid thread

[ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread

[ ] You started a thread that has been discussed here continuously

for the last year and a half

[X] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it

[ ] You didn't pay attention to the originating post header and

posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam

[ ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than

in alt.test

[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message

[X] You posted low-IQ flamebait

[ ] You posted a blatantly obvious troll

[ ] You followed up to a blatantly obvious troll

[ ] You said "X rules, Y sucks" and gave no support for your lame

statement

[ ] You said "me too" to something and added NOTHING to the

discussion

[X] You make no sense

[ ] You posted the same text multiple times

[ ] You made a post yet failed to say anything

[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad

[ ] You posted a porn ad.

[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme

[ ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal

[ ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable

[ ] You posted SCREAMING in RANDOM CAPS (OR IN ALL

CAPS) for NO APPARENT REASON

[ ] You posted a 2 line reply with PAGES of unnecessary quoted text

[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally

worthless that you are being flamed anyway





To Repent, You Must:



[ ] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're

doing

[ ] READ every post in this group for two weeks so you can some

idea about what is discussed here

[ ] Read every newsgroup you posted to for a week

[X] Give up your AOL account

[ ] Give up your webTV account

[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it

[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor (monitor must be

plugged in)

[X ] Actually post something relevant

[ ] Post to alt.test

[ ] Print your home phone number and address in your ads

[ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month

[ ] Nothing, we'll let you go this time



John Cairns" wrote



The Taliban from Texas
by BOB RIEDEL

(to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas" -- anon., 1836, public domain)

There are Taliban from Texas who want to run the world
Their crossbone-spangled banner's triumphantly unfurled
They trample on the Bill of Rights and mock democracy
The Taliban from Texas have it in for you & me

They'll say you are a traitor if you don't toe the line
Their friends at Exxon Mobil all think that's very fine
"Support the troops" means "shut your mouth & never raise a fuss"
Those Taliban from Texas will be the end of US.

They're pocketing a tax cut as big as all outdoors
To pay for Fox cheerleaders and other sundry whores
They worship "G.I. Jesus" and not the Prince of Peace
The Taliban of Texas want to be your thought police.