In article ,
Bart Senior wrote:
Al-Qaeda Backs Democratic Candidate John Kerry;
Plans Big Voter Turnout Effort
5/10/2004 - William Grim
This one is closer to the truth...
http://www.brokennewz.com/displaysto...752arizonegone
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Arizona Repossessed By Mexico While Nation Distracted; McCain Taken
Prisoner
2/24/2004 - Dirk McQuickly
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FORMERLY TUSCON . Nearly one hundred years after being loaned out to
the United States of America, the desert-like southwestern state of
Arizona was boldly repossessed by the country of Mexico in a daring
overnight raid. Citizens awoke to Mexican flags broadcast on existing
local news channels, and have been advised that all U.S. currency
must be exchanged for pesos, according to President Vicente Fox.
..For decades, the United States has allowed Arizona to hold the
illegitimate title of statehood,. said Fox in a prepared statement,
..whereas we have the original documentation to prove that we merely
..loaned. the southwestern region to Washington for a period of fifty
years. We have yet to receive a payment in the last twenty-three
years, and that.s just about enough, don.t you think?.
The White House, which is currently focused on war in the Middle East,
was not even aware of the situation until a spy satellite detected a
sharp increase in Spanish-language programming on Phoenix. local
NBC-affiliate, KPNX-TV.
..Arizona residents were shocked to find that half of all programming
had been switched over to Mexican game shows,. explained National
Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice. .To make matters worse, they were
warned not to tip less than 20% at eating establishments, and would be
required to buy cases of .chiclets. from roving children on demand..
Reports from the Beltway are centering around the current skyrocketing
budget deficit, and the United States inability to continue making
payments on the 48th state. U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow has the
sole responsibility of keeping up with outstanding bills, however, a
spokeswoman for the department claimed a .massive clerical error. is
to blame for the subsequent repossession of the territory.
..Secretary Snow has his hands full, admittedly, with California and
Texas,. said Deputy Treasury Secretary, Margaret Chance. .Admittedly,
the fine print in the Gadsden Purchase specified .rent-to-own., which
was not public knowledge until today. Nevertheless, we don.t feel that
a few decades of missed payment merited this action..
President Bush, in response, has threatened to open up the American
prison system, which will effectively evaporate the job sectors which
immigrants have depended on for sustenance in the United States. In a
tersely worded telegram to Mexican Ambassador Carlos del Tijera, Bush
further threatened to re-classify Mexico.s .most favored
nation. trading status all the way down to .****-hole..
Further complicating matters, Arizona Senator John McCain was among
those captured in the clandestine Mexican Special Forces maneuver, and
is reportedly being held in an undisclosed location as a .prisoner of
war., along with the entire Tri-Delt. sorority of Arizona State
University. The White House has indicated that it has no plans to
rescue the Vietnam War hero, and will dispatch a documentary filmmaker
to his location once it is revealed. This will be McCain.s second tour
as a POW, earning him the distinguished title of .Time Magazine.s
Unluckiest Man on the Face of the Earth..
Democratic Governor Janet Napolitano was unharmed, but is facing
considerable scrutiny following her inability to secure the state from
repossession. Napolitano claims to have been .up late., but busy with
a jigsaw puzzle when the state slipped into Mexican hands.
..I didn.t hear a thing,. said Napolitano. .I thought I heard a car or
two backfire, but that was it. We did our best to stall this event,
but these guys are good, I have to admit. Real good..
As a result, the states of Nevada, Utah, and Colorado have enlisted
federal border patrol units to keep an eye on any further
..re-possessive. activities from their neighbors to the south. The
state of California is already 65% repossessed and has decided not to
fight back.
--
Jonathan Ganz (j gan z @ $ail no w.c=o=m)
http://www.sailnow.com
"If there's no wind, row."