Two men were sitting in a bar talking.

The first one complained that when he
came home late after a night out drinking
he'd turn off the ignition 1/2 block
away from his house, coast silently into
the driveway. Put the key in the front
door as quietlly as possible, take
his shoes off outside, gently open the
front door, and tip toe upstairs.

"Every time," he said, "my wife wakes up
and yells at me."

The other fellow laughed and said, "when
I go home, I slam on my brakes, screech
into driveway, honk the horn, slam the
car door and the front door, stomp up
the stairs, and yelling to my wife, how
about a quickie, and she's always asleep!"


"Seahag" wrote

Hahahahaha! Thanks!

Seahag

OzOne wrote

This was sent to me, I thought you'd all appreciate it.

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told
my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise!" Well, the
hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m.,
a bit blitzed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the
cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly
realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9
times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a
quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape
a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told
him midnight. He didn't seem disturbed at all. (Whew! Got away with
that one!). Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked
him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then
said, "oh, crap," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed
another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over
the cat and farted."


Oz1...of the 3 twins.

I welcome you to crackerbox palace,We've been expecting you.