Simply brilliant.


"Simple Simon" wrote in message
...
Rules Most Sailors Wish Woman Knew

1. Crying is blackmail.

2. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

3. Cut your hair. Short!

4. Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

5. Get rid of your freakin' dog.

6. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an
argument.

7. Anything you wear is fine. Really!

8. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions. Neither do we.

9. If you think you are fat you probably are. Don't ask.

10. If you think you are fat don't whine. Do something about it.

11. If you think you are fat buying larger sizes does not equal a
diet.

12. 'Light' beer does not equal weight loss.

13. Learn how to work the toilet seat.

14. You have too many shoes.

15. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers.

16. A headache that lasts 17 months is a medical problem.
See a doctor.

17. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

18. Sunday equals Sports.

19. If you don't look like the Victoria's Secret girls don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

20. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one choice
makes you sad or angry we meant the other one.

21. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both.

22. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how
can we get horny about you?

23. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

24. Woman wearing wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose the right to
complain about having their boobs stared at.

25. Nothing says "I love you" like sex.

26. You have enough clothes to wear.