You Know You're Scotty when ...

1.---The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

2.---You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.

3.---You're been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4.---You think a woman who is "out-of-your-league" bowls on a different
night.

5.---Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people."

6.---You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

7.---Anyone in your family ever died right after saying: "Hey, watch
this."

8.---You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

9.---Your junior prom had a daycare.

10.---Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

11.---You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner a "Gentlemen,
start your engines."

12.---You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off
its wheels.

13.---The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on
how much gas is in it.

14.---You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

15.---One of your kids was born on a pool table.

16.---You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at
the House of Tattoos.

17.---You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
against it.

18.---You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.

19.---Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

20.---Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.

21.---You sail a McGregor

Joe
MSV RedCloud