Keyser Söze wrote:
Our Florida boy has posted a $500 reward and this notice:

$500 reward

Someone's broken into my car and they’ve taken a load of personal items
and I'm gutted! I can't imagine that these have much value to anyone
else. A lot of these are custom made and can not be replaced!! A lot of
gifts from close friends that I don't see any more.

If anyone comes across any posts selling any of it or is offered any of
the listed items please let me know or you can text me. Discretion is
assured. The reward has been offered for information leading to the
recovery of these items...

Items stolen:

1 x 18” light up sparkle unicorn vibrator
1 x gimp gag mask (it has a sequin finish)
1 x large tube of tuna flavored lube
1 x Cucumber
1 x Latex glove with novelty fingers
1 x rope
1 x bag of cable ties
1 x pair of nipple tassels
1 x roll of gaffer tape
2 x pink fur lined handcuffs
1 x Paddle
1 x deluxe inflatable goat.
1 x foot pump
1 x jls cd
1 x westlife live in concert dvd.

Oh and ... five gold riiiiiings..
Reward for any info...

Let's be real, fellas. Without the return of his stuff, Just-An-Ass will
have a miserable holiday season visiting his buddies Herring, Tim, Alex,
JackOff, et al.


You must have ripped this off from somewhere. You do not have the creative
ability to write this.