BECOMING A SENIOR

Barb was lying in bed one night. Larry was falling asleep but Barb was
in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get
back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me... "

Mildly irritated, Larry reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek
and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck..."

Angrily, Larry threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Barb asked.

"To get my teeth!"

DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home.
She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can
guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"

An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"

Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Vernon, I
just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on I-25.
Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Vernon, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

SUPERSEX

A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down the
halls in a nursing home. As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her
nightgown and say "Supersex." She ran up to an elderly man in a
wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
--

Freedom Isn't Free!