So far you're doing the best.

#1 was a trick question, it had a real answer.

Good job Mooron.

"Capt. Mooron" wrote in message
...

"Gilligan" wrote in message
news | ASA IQ Test
|
| 1. Capt Neal, Jonathan, Bobsprit and Katysails have returned from a
glorious
| day of sailing aboard Capt Neal's fine blue water cruiser.
| They are offshore and must take the dinghy to get to land. Only two of
them
| can fit in the dinghy at a time.
| If Bobsprit is left alone with Jonathan, Bobsprit will bugger poor
Jonathan.
| If Capt Neal is left alone with Katysails, he will pinch her and she
will
| slap him.
| How do the four of them get ashore to enjoy an evening at the Sneaky
Tikki
| without Jonathan getting buggered, Katysails pinched or Capt Neal
slapped?

A = CN & Jon row in Jon returns... Kitty and Bob row in... Kitty
returns...
Kitty and Jon row in..


| 2. Captain Mooron is out at sea recovering from a bad hangover.
| In this distance he sees a double vision of a fast approaching tanker.
| Moorons proper course of action is:
|
| a. Alternately wink each eye and watch the double vision. The tanker
image
| that remains in place is the true tanker. He steers clear of it.
|
| b. Take the Enfield and shoot at the middle of them.
|
| c. Take three bong hits to clear his vision.
|
| d. Get on the radio and let them know he doesn't use soap or wear
underwear.

I would have already had a bong and I'd be wearing my eye patch.... I
realize there is nobody on the bridge answer "b"


|
| 3. Gilligan releases his flying monkeys for a flying nonstop round trip
to
| Katysails to steal naughty things from her clothesline.
| It's a 2,000 mile roundtrip and the monkeys can only fly 1,000 miles
without
| food. The monkeys fly at 100 mph.
| At three hours after the monkeys are released, Gilligan releases
swallows
| that carry coconuts to the monkeys for replenishment.
| What is the airspeed of a laden swallow?

Are they European or African Swallows?


| 4. What is your favorite colour?

Blue

|
| 5. On Monday Bobsprit buys a C&C 32 for $16,000. On Tuesday he buys a
| Bugatti Classic for $8,000 and sells the radar from his boat for $400.
| On Wednesday Bobsprit buys an inflatable boat for $1200, uses it and
sells
| it on Friday for $1400. On Thursday Bobsprit buys yet another classic
car,
a
| Fiat Abarth for $16,000 and sells it the next day for $20,000.
| On Friday Bobsprit sells the Bugatti for $12,000 and sells his Saab for
| $3,000.
| During the entire week what is the most cash Bob has out of pocket?
|
| a. $16,000
|
| b. $24,000
|
| c. It's Suzzette's money
|
| d. Bobsprit is lying.


A= d|


| 6. Which of the following statements goes most closely with: "The Alien
| Girls are to beauty as"
|
| a. Ganz is to Gay
|
| b. Bobsprit is to bluster
|
| c. Jax is to intelligence
|
| d. Neal's boat is to bristol

A= a.

| 7. A dab of tallow place in a wooden mast crack is best suited for:
|
| a. Covering unsightly cracks
|
| b. Keeping out moisture
|
| c. Keeping flies off of the helmsman
|
| d. Upsetting the navigator

A= b

|
| 8. Bobsprit eats 6000 cal a day. His basal metabolism requires 2000 cal
a
| day. 1/2 pound of fat is equal to 2000 stored calories.
| Bobsprit becomes constipated for one week, but continues his regular
diet.
| How can Bobsprit's condition be most accurately described at the week's
end?
|
| a. He is 14 pounds heavier
|
| b. He is full of sh*t.
|
| c. He has bought three more classic cars
|
| d. All of the above


A= b

| 9. Captain American sails to Hawaii in 31 days. On several days he is
thrown
| about the ship, severely striking his head.
| What is the best conclusion about his trip:
|
| a. It has knocked some common sense into him, he now sees Bush as a free
| spending socialist
|
| b. It has knocked him senseless, he now wants McCain as president
|
| c. He never really left. He's been on a one month drunken bender in a
| Seattle flophouse.
|
| d. He was never right to begin with, so nothing is new.


A= a

| 10. What is the next word in this sequence: Red Leicester, Tilsit,
| Caerphilly...
|
| a. Bazuki
|
| b. Venezuelan Beaver
|
| c. Bel Pease
|
| d. Wenslydale


A= b


...... I AM CANADIAN!

CM