Football Truths
What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs? Drool.
How many Michigan State freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's
a sophomore course.
How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.
Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The
other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
What do you say to a Florida State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "Will
the defendant please rise."
If three Rutgers football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer.
How can you tell if a Clemson football player has a girlfriend? There's tobacco juice on both sides
of the pickup truck.
What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? A full set of teeth.
University of Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh is only going to dress half of his players for the game
this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
Why did the Tennessee linebacker steal a police car? He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a
Porsche.
How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
**and the best for last**
How is the Kansas football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get squashed on the
road.
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