On Thursday, July 12, 2018 at 3:18:25 PM UTC-4, John H wrote:
http://archive.is/p1Up8

"Senate Democrats Demand Supreme Court Nominee Not Be Unduly Influenced By U.S. Constitution"

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Still reeling from Trump’s previous Supreme Court nominee, Neil Gorsuch, Democrats
plan to scrutinize any new nominee to ensure that he or she isn’t yet another crony of something
called “The Constitution,” Senate Democrats announced Friday.

“Time and time again, we find progressive laws getting struck down,” Senate Minority Leader Chuck
Schumer said in a Senate address. “And it’s always — always — the ones the Constitution is against.
These right-wing judges don’t think for themselves, they just do whatever the Constitution says. And
it’s time for that to end.”

Senate Democrats have vowed to make sure that any new nominee isn’t going to be beholden to outside
influences like the Constitution, the founding fathers, or the rule of law. “We need judges to be
advocates of progressive laws,” Senator Elizabeth Warren added. “Not people who will bow to the
whims of the Constitution, pitting its extremist values of freedom of speech and freedom of religion
against our agenda.”

“We’re sick and tired of the Constitution sitting in the National Archives, manipulating everything
we do,” stated Senator Cory Booker, trying to emote for the cameras but failing. Booker then called
a ten-minute recess for him to refresh his supply of fake tears before he could continue.

Asked about their concerns, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said he “doesn’t care” and plans
to “completely ignore” the Democrats in the nomination process since “there’s nothing they can do”
and he is “literally unstoppable.”

From the Babylon Bee

LOL!