On 6/26/2018 9:37 PM, Wayne.B wrote:
So one day a guy is looking on Craig's list and sees an ad for a
talking dog - price, 20 dollars. So he says to himself, a talking
dog, that's unbelieveable but what the heck, let's go see. So he
makes an appointment, drives out into the country, and finds the
farmer with the dog for sale. Of course the first thing he asks is
whether or not the dog can really talk. The farmer said that the dog
is out behind the garage and you should go see for youself.

Sure enough, the dog is there and begins to talk about himself:

He said I was a general assignment reporter at The Star and for the
last year there, I doubled on the copy desk when and if my writing
assignments for the night were complete. While working at The Star, I
was recruited for The Associated Press by the inimitable Harry F.
Rosenthal. That was it...as with my hiring by The Star, there was no
lengthy interview or resume involved. The managing editor of the
morning Star hired me after I met him at a social gathering, and
Rosenthal, who I had known for several years (The AP was located in
The Star's building) hired me "on the spot" after asking me one
evening in the lunchroom if I wanted to "work for The AP." I said yes
and he said, "Start packing...you'll be on your way in less than a
month."

I was. I worked for six months to learn The AP system under the
really wonderful and funny Angelo Natale, who became the editorial
supervisor at The AP's World Service and foreign desks and had worked
as
an AP foreign correspondent in the Soviet Union and the Middle East.
Then I ran The AP bureau that served a large portion of West Virginia,
Kentucky, and Ohio.

I almost went to work for The Washington Post. Since the late 1930s,
my
dad was a buddy of Bob Bowerman, who in the 1960s was advertising
director at The Post. He and my dad were in the same band in New
Jersey
when my dad ran one of his uncle's retail stores. Bob called me when I
worked at The Star and told me that, if I wanted, he could get me a
job
as a city news reporter at The Post.

After that I went on civil rights marches in the south and was shot at
3 times, narrowly escaping death. That experience served me well in
El Salvador where I was shot at again but was able to duck the bullet
just in time because of my prior training.

Later I went to Washington where I was deputy assistant to the acting
bureau chief, had lunch with all of the presidents, union bosses and
assorted mafioso. Sometime after that I went to Florida where I
dabbled in real estate development and would have made bazillions of
dollars if the cruel banksters had not insisted on being repaid for
all the money they lent me. That was unfortunate because I was just
beginning to enjoy life on my Hatteras sportfishing boat. Of course
the IRS picked up on my wheeling and dealing and decided that I owed
them money but I fooled them by declaring bankruptcy a couple of
times.

Well that was the last straw however, and I decided to retire to life
as just another ordinary dog.

The man shook his head in amazement at this incredible story and went
back to talk with the farmer. He told the farmer, that's some
incredible dog you've got there, why are you only asking 20 dollars?

The farmer laughed and said, that dogs a f*ck'n liar. He never did
any of that stuff.



Funny. I think the dog had a lapse of memory though. At one point
in the height of the Vietnam War he was chosen for a very special
and top secret program to search for bodies while dodging those
flying bullets. Results of his efforts are apparently still Top Secret.